Fun on a Monday

Hey guys,

Today is going to be a fun day. Actually, it already has been a fun day. I went out to lunch with a friend from back in the day who is going to be a youth pastor soon. It was so neat to have someone to identify with in ministry and life struggles. And in general we just had fun. Good times with good friends.

Tonight I am hanging out with some friends with Evie and Taylor. I am also excited for that.

This break I have definitely spent a lot of time at home or by myself. BUT I have really enjoyed that. Sometimes it gets real overwhelming to spend time with people all day even though I really like the people I spend time with. I actually think that I might be ready to go back.

Also this break, I have been thinking about many things. Many of my core beliefs and I don't
have the patience to type about them but maybe sometime before break is over I will. :)

Happy Monday!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christ mas everyone! I hope that it is filled with the love of Christ and honoring Him!

One idea I had in this department was to give Jesus a present like I would anybody else. (The Christian radio station suggested it). They suggested that we write out what we would give Jesus on a piece of paper and wrap it in a box. It is an interesting idea. You can't take it too far theologically but for what it is- it is sweet! :)

I hope you have a good time!

Omaha teacher fired for talking about God in his classroom

Hey guys,
I thought that this article was really great. It kind of makes me want to yak though. What do you think?

Story Printer

Home again

I just got home a couple of days ago (my original home that is- so number 1 of 3). I realized that it has been a long time since I blogged and I wanted to update those who used to be faithful readers.

The semester ended pretty well. I had some time to do some reflecting finals week and I realized that God has done a LOT in me and through me this semester. It really is a blessing and a priviledge to serve K-State Navs and ultimately Jesus on EDGE. I am encouraged to report that I spend time weekly with 2 new believers (1 next semester), 3 or so believers from my FC study or different upperclassman in the ministry, and 2 non-believers. I lead a FC Bible study and an IBD. AND I remember wondering if God would really give me things to fill my 40-60 hrs a week with. Well he certainly has and I certainly don't deserve it. I am pretty amazed. Beyond mere numbers though I am really excited about what God is doing in these people's lives. I have learned a lot about my place in ministry and being persistent to love non-believers. I am so thankful for the heart God has given me to serve Him and die to myself (although I definitely still fight it at times).

I wanted to share with you the biggest thing I have learned: it is in relation to non-believers. It is hard to spend time with non-believers. It takes looking past your own wants and even needs. It takes giving all of those things to Jesus. Non-believers are often rough and not the most loving or greatest friends that you will ever have. So I really think it takes intentionality to hang out with non-believers. At least for my personality type it does not come naturally. I like to hang out with people who make me feel good so I naturally spend my time with them. Well, non-believers are not always that way. SO, for me it takes intentionally dialouging with non-believers and pursuing spending time with them and having those awkward conversations. Also when it comes to hanging out with the lost, Ben D (my EDGE teammate) made a good observation. He said that the only thing that keeps any random person from being someone I would call a friend, is that we don't know each other. I know that sounds really elementary but think about it. Most people will be your friend if you just know them on any level (their name, recognize them, etc.). So, a lot of times to make friends with non-believers it means taking the initiative to know people I don't know. Hmmm... so simple yet so profound and SO hard to continually do.

Well,that is what I have been learning about ministry. Personally I have also been learning a lot but I am still processing exactly how to articulate that. Feel free to ask me if you see me. Also the lines between ministry and personal are very blurry perhaps indistinguishable and maybe they should be. Hmm... things to think about.

I am excited for break. I stayed in Manhattan until Friday night to go to my host brothers rehearsal dinner. It was such a privlidge to be a part of that night and for one of the first times in Manhattan I felt like I truly belonged there. Also, Friday night I went up to Lincoln and hung with tons of friends at Tracy's graduation party. It was really fun to see everyone; I didn't realize how much I missed all of them. It was weird to feel like the friend from out of town though. A lot has changed and at times I didn't know who the people they were discussing were or what the circumstances that came up were about. Crazy. It is also nuts that Tracy and Rachael are graduating. I want to throw a fit and tell people to stop moving away but that probably isn't very mature (or God-honoring) especially since I started the trend. Doesn't change the desire at times though. :)

I went to Amy Patras's wedding on Saturday afternoon. Again that was a good time to catch up with friends. I saw Jill and Rob's new house (in between the rehearsal and the reception) and got to talk to John and Kathy. It was sweet and soul refreshing on both accounts. Their shared experiences really encouraged me. Also the wedding was amazing. Amy and Jared said and demonstrated that their lives and marriage and wedding are not about them over and over again. I left giving glory to God and just excited for them. After the wedding, I hung with Sonya (It was very good to see her. Talking to her made me really sad that we didn't get to do it more though. As did most of my time in Lincoln) and then went back home.

Since getting back home, I have been spending good time with my parents and hopefully I will get the chance to catch up with friends too. A lot of people have said that they want to see me but I have actual plans with few. I talked to one of my FC girls on the phone last night and plan on calling a few others over break. It is always neat to see that ministry isn't just something that happens at K-State because it needs to but something that I really believe in and enjoy.
I hope that no matter where I am and whatever I do that I live my life to make God look good (as He is).

Well that is the marathon post that you have all been waiting for. I will try to update ya'll again soon (maybe even before break is over).

First date in 3 years

AND it was with a bunch of freshman men and women and their Bible study leaders. Yep you guessed it, on Friday night I went on a Freshman Connection group date. I have to say it wins the award for the most interesting date I have ever been on. First, the men picked us up at the dorms and we ate dinner in the cafeteria courtesy of (you guessed it) our parents. Then we went to Manhattan Hill (and we did not go there to make out- although it is apparently the high school make out spot). The guys made signs that read "You are the light of the world, a city on a hill cannot be hidden." Then we talked about how we were on a hill looking at a city (a little opposite of the verse) but we got the imagery. The men did an excellent job then of leading us in a disscusion about where we were being lights for Christ (specifically through verbal evangelism) and then we all shared what God had used to encourage us this year. Then we broke up into groups and the guys prayed for the girls. BUT the interesting part is still to come... After this activity, we went back to the dorms and carved soap sculptures (yep good old Dial soap and a butterknife) with knives the men had "Borrowed" from the dorm cafeteria. I made a heart with a cross but others made things from penguins to Mr. Potato Head. It was a good time.

Saturday night was also awesome. My Bible study girls (the FC one) and I went to Topeka and stayed the night at Liz's house. Her mom made us dinner, snacks and breakfast. We had some good serious conversation, serious fun, and some good Bible study. It rocked. It was everything I hoped it would be and MORE. How cool. Praise God!

In other news, I talked to both Tracy, Sonya and Rachael on the phone this weekend. What a gift from God. That was SO SO SO SO awesome. It is hard to believe that Tracy and Rachael are both graduating in four weeks and moving FAR away. But, I was marveling at how much and God did in their lives in college. I long to be used to impact people in that way at K-state.

In personal news (well, more personal news that is) I am reading Chosen By God by R.C. Sproul. Watch out I may come out a Calvinist or maybe with just more understanding of the Bible. But I am excited to tackle the predestination can of worms. Wish me God!

comment on Cal's blog

Cal posted something on his blog the other day that I find to be incredibly true and incredibly interesting. He said: "There's also Jenny who somehow seems no longer a Nebraskan while she's wearing purple, but is certainly not somebody I would consider a "Wildcat" yet. But she's a friend, so the color doesn't matter."

That attitude captures the essence of the transition I have faced- not in wearing purple and cheering for the purplecats :) but in identifying with K-State Navs at Main Event and feeling the tension in general between not being quite a wildcat but not being quite a husker. Sometimes it feels like I don't belong anywhere but sometimes it feels like I belong everywhere. It is an interesting experience.

Anways, that is random but I wanted to post it. :)

Main Event

I got back from Main Event a couple of hours ago (yes you read that right- Kansas is a stinkin long way away from cedar falls) and I wanted to let you all know that it was amazing. It never ceases to amaze me how the Lord uses the Main Event conference in the lives of students. I talked to many students who made some serious decisions about following Jesus this weekend and it was REALLY exciting.

I want to share more but I am dog tired. Please be praying about where I will go on my EDGE summer missions experience. There are 6 options: Indonesia, Bulgaria, South Africa, Estonia, East Asia, and Central Asia.

Thanks! May God's grace fill you!

Good stuff

For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. Mark 8:35

Really neat day

You guys, God has really blessed life and ministry the past few days. To give you a small snapshot of life- I have probably had 5 good one on ones since I have lived in Manhattan. Three of them were yesterday.

I feel like I am trying to minister in a wilderness. I have never in my life spent time with so many nonbelievers that are so uninterested and not hungry. I feel like a lot of what I have been doing is developing an overwhelming amount of relationships, developing trust and breaking up very very hard hearts. I have shared the gospel many times probably on average 2-3 times a week and had little positive response.

But yesterday was a different story. God gave me a lot of encouragement. My first appointment was with a girl who just came to Christ a week or so ago. We hung out, had fun and talked about the Lord and how to grow. It was cool.

My second appointment was with a girl who is Native American and has those religious beliefs. She has been coming to an evangelistic Bible study that I am doing on campus and she frequently makes comments about how COMPLETELY lost that she is. Her concept of God and well everything is different from mine. So, I took her to the mall and as we are walking from store to store I undfold the gospel story from Genesis to Jesus. It was so neat to share with someone who had not heard it before. I told her about the sacrifices that God demanded in the Old testament and she responded in shock and then when Jesus entered the scene she responded with awe. We ended our time talking about how she is moving from not interested at all to interested so she can "learn more." You can pray for her and for me. What a neat time though.

Finally, I have freshman bible study last night. It was rough because the girls had a stressful week but I hung out with a girl afterwards and it was really great. I felt like she was vulnerable with me and that I got to help her fight through stuff in her life. I was so excited to hear about the things the Lord is teaching her.

Anyways, that was sweet. I am really learning that God is going to have to work if he wants me to have a ministry.

Tonight I had a conversation with a girl who is adimately (how do you spell that?) disinterested in pursuing God with her college career. I invited her to Main Event and she said possibly 10 times that she does not have time for or interest in "something like that" in college. She wants to have a life and party on the weekends and do rowing team and everything else. It made me really sad. We have a good friendship though so I hope that goes somewhere.

Anyway that is a more detailed snapshot of "life on the edge." I am going to NE this weekend because it is KSU's fall break. I want to see whoever wants to see me. :) I CANT WAIT!

twice in one month...doing good

I can't believe that I only blogged twice last month. I now understand why people don't post as frequently as I would like them to. I was without internet for 2 weeks and just plain forgot. Such is life.

Life in Manhattan has been ROUGH. I have gone through a tough faith time and have really battled a little depression and loneliness. I had a real short "I love everything about Manhattan" stage and then the reality of life after college set in.

I really think that I am starting to come out of it though and that even in the midst of it I am clinging to God. Sorry this is so short but the library guy just asked me to get off the computer.

Next weekend is fall break!

Spiders and intruders and bears oh my!

Hey all!

Sorry about the radio silence on the blog. I spent the last week at Meredith's host families house and their internet was broken. Thus, blogging became a low priority. All in all, life in Manhattan is going alright. I am finally starting to have some relationships that are deepening and I am starting to get to more spiritual topics with the relationships that I have. Woo hoo! But, what I want to blog about is a funny thing that happened on Saturday.

First of all, to comment on the spiders portion of the title, I want to say that I am NOT afraid of spiders in any way shape or form but last night I got home about 11:50 to a hairy good sized spider on my doorstep. How gross! I am not afraid of spiders in general but I just get a little freaked out when they are large enough that you can see the hair they are covered in. Ick!

Enough on that, the funny story happened at Merediths house last week. Picture this, two women staying alone in a huge house for a week. Well Saturday night was the end of that week and we had just had people over and were up chatting. Well, I went downstairs at 1:30 a.m. to grab my purse and head to bed when I noticed that the door coming inside from the garage was OPEN and neither of us had opened it. I bolted upstairs and in a broken voice told Meredith that the door was open and I had no idea how it got that way and that I was freaked out. She was talking to her boyfriend on the phone and he responded to our fright by laughing. Well we were not laughing. Meredith made me baracade and shut her door while we developed a plan. Seh let Ryan (her boyfriend) go and told him that if she didn't call him back in 5 minutes to call her back and if she didn't answer to worry. Then, we proceeded to call all the guys numbers meredith had in her phone (all two of them). We couldn't get a hold of anyone so we braved it on our own.

We decided after about 5 minutes had passed that we needed to go shut the door and check the house and that we needed weapons. So we grabbed her 5 pound weights and left the room. we searched every room and every corner of the house often yelling as we opened doors to scare the intruders. We discovered nothing and decided to leave all the lights on the main level on. We went back upstairs to complete the search and call Ryan back. Well... 20 minutes had elapsed.

In the meantime Ryan (in an act of protection) had called the Manhattan police department and when he got their answering machine decided to call Jen and Joel. CRAZY!?? We felt really bad but in the end got quite the laugh out of it!:)

In other news, this weekend is K-States big evangelistic camp out. It is called Burly Girly. I can't wait!

Blogging: A summer thing?

I have noticed recently that many friends of mine who blogged faithfully this summer have tapered off in their blogging. I have also noticed that I have as well. Interesting. Maybe it was a good means of communication in the summer but now that the majority of us are back in our comfort zones with our friends we don't feel the need to keep up a description of our lives. Or maybe we are just doing more productive things with our time. Hmm... Something to ponder.

To let you know why I have been slow at blogging this year, it is because of my distaste for using the dial-up internet at my host family's house. Not only do they have dial-up but they also have a limited number of hours of dial-up. Thus, I don't check my email as often or post to my blog for fear of using all their hours. So, I apologize if this has been disappointing to some.

BUT I am in Omaha this weekend so it seems a good opportunity to keep you posted. I had this whole weekend off. I spent Friday afternoon/ evening in Lincoln hanging out with friends that I miss SO much. I spent the afternoon with Tracy, ate dinner with some folks, went to Navigators and then stayed up until 5 a.m. chatting with Sonya. It was really really fun. The trip hurt my heart a bit because things are different and will continue to be and that is sad as much as it is exciting to move onto a new stage.

To update ya'll on campus life, it has been a tough week again. I am starting to understand why I find it tough though and that is helping. I find myself having a tough time with the pace that the friendships I am forming are moving at. They are moving much more slowly than I wish they would. I want to have tons of people who want to be my friend, spend time together, talk about deep stuff and Jesus - NOW. But, I am reminded that takes time to form. I see my impatience SO clearly and have been forced to ask myself if I believe in the gospel enough to perservere. It was good to go to church in Omaha this weekend and see that I am the only one who is putting that much pressure on myself. None of my suppporters I talked to back here think I should have really deep relationships yet. I seem to have the biggest expectations of anyone.

The other stuff God has been doing in my personal life is in the form of teaching me deep things about trials. If you check out 1 Peter 1, it discusses how trials come so that our faith may be proved genuine and result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus is revealed. Later in the passage it goes on to tell us to set our hope FULLY on the grace that we will be given when Christ is revealed. As I have been facing various trials and insecurities related to ministry, I have been forced to set my hope fully on Christ. In and of itself, moving to Manhattan has forced me to set my hope on Christ and not on my friends, people who "need" me, people who enjoy me, my family, knowing the campus, having plans on the weekend, etc.

SOOOOOOOOOOO.... that's the news. I have been meeting lots of folks and trying to be patient to watch the relationships form that God wants to work in.

Have a beautiful Sunday.

Week 2

It has been a long time since I posted. Sorry! Life is different when you have a full time job- it's kinda busy. I am getting used to it though so yay for that.

This last weekend was our student leaders retreat. That was a really good and challenging time for me. Most of the curriculum was centered on the Great Commission and laying your life down for non-believers to know Jesus. It really got to my heart and made me want to go back to the dorms and love students and push past my own fears. The retreat itself was also fun. On Friday night, they always do something crazy. Last year, some students went fountain jumping but this year it was raining and lightning. So, Jen Johnson in all her wisdom suggested that they shouldn't go play in the water during a thunderstorm. The students of course saw this as a challenge to come up with something else crazy to do. They decided to go mud sliding. They found a little hill that they could play King of the Hill on in the mud. Then they were going to go to the fountain and clean off. They almost talked me into going. Can you believe that? I didn't because of the storm.

Other than that, I met some neat women and had some fun conversations with some men in the ministry too. It was really refreshing.

Last week, I had to wrestle with a lot of homesickness and bad attitude. I had a really rough day on Wednesday but after I decided that God is sovereign, loves me and intends good for me I accepted that I am here in Manhattan purposefully and can trust God in that. It also helped me to wrestle with the idea that he works all trials in life so that I bring him glory and honor.

I also want to update you all on the girl we shared the Bridge with. It was really neat. She is open to the gospel and not churched at all. You can pray for Sarah. She would have such a neat untainted veiw of Christianity if she came to know Jesus.

That is all I have for now.

lessons

Well, this week has been one of many lessons. As though this is news to anyone, full time ministry is HARD work. There is a lot of spiritual battle going on as well as it is just exhausting. All of my job is to initiate with people. So, on Monday and Tuesday we helped students move in in the afternoon and then Tuesday night we had a party. On Wednesday we set up a survey booth from 8 a.m.- 2p.m. Now imagine with me for a second... spending six hours in the sun stopping students on their way to class and repeating "Would you like to fill out a survey for a chance to win a free bike?" It was tiring but so worth it. Here we don't have a Big Red Welcome so that is partially how we make contacts for the school year. Then Wednesday night we went in pairs to the dorms and visited to people who marked a box saying that they would be interested in discussing the topics on the survey with someone. I went with Allie Sqyres and boy is she cool. The whole goal of this outing was to share the gospel. We got to spend about an hour with two girls and I got to share my testimony. It was exciting. They didn't exactly respond in repentance but I think I may have some new friends!:)

The following night was Nav night and about 400 students came. This night was the best of them all for me. I really connected with God during the actually Nav night and was really able to just plead at God's feet for him to glorify himself. It was really neat what happenned that night. That night the third person I talked to after navs was a freshman who was having some doubts in her walk with God. She cried with me, I got to pray with her and take her to scripture. It was an amazing time of living by the spirit for me because I was SO tired that only one verse came to mind. It was Psalm 73. When we got done reading it, she said that it was exactly what she was feeling. Anyway, very cool. And in the mean time a student leader asked me if I could teach them how to share the bridge. Well, if you know me, you know I LOVE the bridge. So, I am going to go with her sometime this week and share the Bridge with a girl on her floor (who by "Coincidence" I connected with at a party earlier in the week).

This week is going to be a lot more free in my scheduling. Joel and Jen have really given us permission to start to form our own schedules. So I am taking this afternoon off and spending the evenings in the dorms. Good times.

For all you Lincolnites- I miss Lincoln and you all and I hope that you enjoyed your first day of school!

1st and 2nd Days on Campus

Yesterday (Monday) was my first day on campus. And it was HARD. I have never done ministry where I have not lived or inherently belonged. I spent the morning at Ford hall walking up to people and asking if I could help them move in. That was pretty enjoyable but in the morning there were a lot of farmhouse guys out front helping the girls move in. You see, Ford is an all girls dorm (mostly sorority girls) and when I would ask if I could help them and then a big fraternity boy would ask if I could help them: I didn't get to help girls. Thus, I didn't get to meet nearly as many people as I wanted to. Then, I had to deal with all my feelings of inadequacy about living in a strange town, being on staff and not knowing how to meet people. The dorms I am in are suite style and after the altracation in the morning I did meet a lot of people. I am really excited to develop those relationships. I met both believers and non-believers (assumably from what they told me). Tonight we have a party at the Rec center where we will play volleyball and have snacks. There will be no formal gospel sharing or anything so it is going to be a good time to form relationships. I am pretty excited. On that note, I need to go get ready for the day!

Manhattan

Hey friends,

I wanted to write and let you know that Manhattan is awesome! I love my host family. I love me house. I love my staff. I am even warming up to the small town. The only sad thing is that the reality that I live here is sitting in. And that means that I don't live in Omaha or Lincoln. That I am not around my friends and family. I am honestly getting a little lonely for a familiar face. I have plenty of friendly ones though.

I have seen my brother, Lara Pickel and my team. It has been a blast. We are dreaming about how God would use us on campus this year. I will be going after Ford hall (more than likely) and possibly Kappa Delta. I am so excited. Well, I have staff at 12 so I must be off! I will write more later.:)

Oh, I got a new cell phone number. If you want it give my old one a call. The message has it on it.

leaving in a Grand Am

Hey. I just wanted to write and let you all know that I am leaving in t minus 5 minutes for Manhattan. I will write more when I have a chance. In you want to call, it would be very encouraging to hear from you and my cell number will be good through the weekend!

2 very cool things happened today!

Like I just said, two very cool things happened today.

1) I hit 90% and got the go-ahead to go to campus on time. I will be moving to Kansas tommorrow (umm well today). Praise God with me that He has provided and more than that He is the provider.

2) I got a lot of space added to my hotmail inbox. That very much excited me. Woo hoo! Yay for hotmail.

Just so you know, my cell phone will be out of my hands as of tommorrow (well maybe this weekend if I can talk my parents into it). I will get a new address and cell phone. If you want them shoot me an email.:)

thoughts on blogging and stuff

I have been thinking about the way that people plan their blogging. People plan to take a break from posting. And often these people don't plan anything else. I wonder if it because we feel a responsibility to our digital audience. I think that is true in my life. Ponder it.:)

Ammendment: I talked to my host family today too. It was really fun. They sound cool. At first we wil have a FULL house. There will be three children other than me in the house (one is 21, the other 18 and the last 14). The 18 year old will be leaving for college the weekend after I get there and I am taking his room. They are the Watt family. They said that the one thing you probably dont get around their house is quiet that there are people in and out constantly. I like that idea to an extent. It will be nice to have people around but who knows what I will think after doing ministry for a while.

On another note, I am getting really excited. I think that I will go to campus on time. I still need to get it cleared with my funding coach but I am a little nervous. Because even if he clears it, people have to follow-through on their commitments and another 10% has to come in. So much trusting. The next thing to be praying for is trusting God to use me to impact eternity at K-State!

My social life

Well, it has been a while since my last post. The past two days have been awesome. I have seen a lot of friends and done a lot of fundraising.

On Thursday night, I went out to Mead, Nebraska at 9:00 p.m. That translates to: country roads are hard to find. Also, Mead is a good 45 minute drive (without getting lost like I did) anyway. But it was well worth it. Two of my friends from College, Aaron N and Matt F live out there. We sit around, ate, and then we went outside and sat around a fire and talked. It was a really good time. I love the country for the peace it seems to bring with it. Also, this trip contained the first time in life, that I petted a rooster. Phil told me that I could "cuddle it" if I wanted to. I decided not to and Aaron informed me later that the rooster may have pecked me if I did. Close call.

On Friday night, I saw two Omaha friends Tim and Wendy. They are moving to California which makes me immensely sad. It is interesting that life is now starting to move on. People are growing up and moving away and its not just me. Although, for those of you who haven't put it together, I am supposed to move to Kansas on Tuesday. Wow. It will be interesting to see if that happens. At Kansas State, the students start arriving on Aug 18. The leadership team for Navs has a meeting the Sunday before that. That is a little over a week before students will be starting school. I am starting to get really excited and really nervous. I want the Lord to use me in huge ways and I really want opportunities to share Jesus with people at K-State.

Well, I am putting off making funding calls. So, I better go do that. Have a fantastic weekend!:)

Will the fun ever wear off?

After my monster of a post yesterday I feel like I should not post again for a long time but I want to so here we are...

I thought I would entertain you with a conversation that Cora and I had yesterday or the day before. We were chatting about blogs and how a few months ago we may have laughed at ourselves and called ourselves nerds for all having blogs. Today we think it is very cool (or at least I do). So we had two thoughts. The first is interesting and the second is entertaining:

1) Will all of my friends having blogs foster something that feels like a friendship but really does not resemble one because we have no actual contact? I hope not. I told Cora that I hope it will foster deeper communication when we do get contact because we will already be caught up on the pidly things.

2) Would someone be entertained to just find one of our blogs that links to the other people's blogs and spend time reading them to see how we all fit together and how we talk about each other. I am thinking specifically of Cora, me, Cal, Justin James (coming soon), and Phil. Would someone be entertained to solve that mystery? I think I would.

Oh the fun of blogging. By the way, anyone tired of the pinkness on my blog? I am getting tired of it and thinking of changing it.

Teaching on the Sabbath and an apology

So, I am sitting here wondering to myself... what does it mean that no one responded to my "rant" about giving? Did I offend someone? Was I right? Was I wrong? Well, I have many thoughts on the matter, but I think that I owe my "digital audience" an apology. I need your forgiveness if my thoughts on the previous post seemed judgmental or self-centered. Honestly a lot of it springs from doubt and anxiety in my own heart. I am very sorry.

On another front, today is my Sabbath. This means no fundraising except for the report I had to submit this morning. This is so good and it is SO good to have the freedom to rest. And do absolutely NO work on the "seventh day." In my case, it is probably more like the "22nd day." Interesting.

Anyway, I am absolutely convinced that it is disobedient to do work on the Sabbath. I want to establish my line of thinking from the Word for ya'll. (That was a really fun word to use online. I will have to use it more often). First off, we have to think about what is a scriptural command. And what does a "scriptural command" from the Old Testament look like. Well, Rob P helped me with this idea. So, as believers in Jesus we are under the Law as in the capital letter law the first five books of the old testament, but we are not necessarily under all the little laws (the lower case laws like don't mix fabrics. etc.). So, what does this mean when we think of Old testament laws. What are we as believers in Jesus supposed to do with these? Well, since we are still under the Law then we need to obey the Spirit of these laws (notice lowercase) and remain faithful to what we know about who God reveals himself to be and who God wants us to be.

Lets take an example: Look with me at Deuteronomy 22:8. It says:"When you build a new house, make a parapet around your roof so that you may not bring the guilt of bloodshed on your house if someone falls from the roof. (NIV)"

Alright Jen, what in the world is a parapet? A parapet is not a bird you have as a pet (hee hee) in fact it is a fence like thing that goes around a roof to keep people who walk on the roof (generally servants in OT times) from falling off. Do we build our houses with parapets today? No. Do we need to? I would say not necessarily. So track with me: If we needed to, we would be obeying the law (lowercase). But since we are not under the law but we are still under the Law we need to be asking: So what does this passage tell us about God? What does this passage tell us about what God wants from His people? I would say that it tells us that God is concerned with His people looking out for the welfare of those he has entrusted to them. Also, that he values His people making their properties a safe place. So how do we obey the Law in this case while not having to obey the law? An idea would be to make sure to shovel your walk when it snows so that no one falls and breaks their leg on your property. That would be being obedient to what God has revealed about himself in this part of the Law.

Alright that aside, what does all this have to do with the Sabbath. Well, lets start in Genesis 2:1-3. This says: "Thus the heavens and the earth were completed in all their vast array. 2 By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested [1] from all his work. 3 And God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done. (NIV- www.biblegateway.com)"

So look at what God is doing? Resting. Hmmm.
Alright, flip with me to Exodus 20:8-11:
"Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. 9 Six days you shall labor and do all your work, 10 but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your manservant or maidservant, nor your animals, nor the alien within your gates. 11 For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.(NIV)"

I made some ideas I want to bring out bold on purpose. Alright, what is the law here? Do not do any work on the seventh day. Work six days and nothing on the seventh. Why? Because the day is to be to the Lord your God (v 10) and because God rested on the seventh day. It is an imaging God issue. Notice also that it is not just God's people that are to take a Sabbath- even the "aliens (probably those not from Israel)" among them were not to do any work on the sabbath and the responsibility was on God's people to not let them work for them.

What would the Law be in this case? Honestly, the take away is to be like God and to set apart a day to the Lord. I think they are one in the same in this case. Keeping a Sabbath is an issue of imaging God. It is a way that I am like God on this Earth. Thus, it is disobedient to willfully do something that is not like God.

Well, what do you think? I know there is a lot more to be said about the Sabbath. I didn't even go through the NT verses on the subject or the other OT verses. Some other facts: Did you ever notice that the sabbath commandment is the longest? God is intentional about the things he gives space in the Word. If you want to check out what else God has to say on the Sabbath go to these spots:

Matthew 11:28-30
Isaiah 30:15
Mark 2:27
Hebrews 4:1-12

Also, the word sabbath occurs in the NIV version of the Bible 151 times. If you are interested in looking it up go to www.biblegateway.com and type Sabbath in the keyword search.

Anways, I am convinced that I need to keep a Sabbath but you need to form convictions on your own on the matter. If you made it this far, thanks for reading about what I have been thinking about lately. I also feel the need to say that if we do disobey the Lord there is forgiveness and grace to be had. Jesus did die for all our sins past, present, and future.

Update

I admit my last post was strange and short. I took that test and it was alright. Nothing special but if I am going to spend my time on it than man I might as well let you know about it.:)

I went to Lincoln today and enjoyed the love and fellowship of dear friends. What a blessing it is to be with people who know me and love me and love and have so obviously been with Jesus. It is SO neat.

On another note, I want to spew what is going on inside of me onto this post but I am not sure that I can. A lot of it is a raging battle against worry. 10 days until the goal campus date. Wow. I can do the math and realize that all I need is 36 people to give 25 dollars a month or 18 to give 50 and that makes it seem much much closer but honestly looking at the numbers today was a bit depressing. I have gotten less than 10% this week.

The rest is a general disillusionment with our society. How I long to be with Christ. I am really disappointed with people's follow through. And a little disillusioned that people don't seemingly believe in the gospel going out this way more than they are showing. Maybe I am taking the fact that people do not return my phone calls and that rarely anyone gives without more than one phone call and a personal visit from me way to seriously. But I think that says something. It says something about our hearts, our lives, our attitudes towards giving. And honestly it says something disheartening. And not just because it is my life. But because this is God's business of getting the gospel out and I know 38 people who are willing to give their lives (they are ALL college educated) to make sure that it gets out and they may not be the most effective (they may not get to campus in time for training and meeting new people) because people won't give. No plan of God's can be thwarted but I think that people have sinned in not giving (not everyone) and if we had a more generous, sacrificial attitude that we would all be funded.Honestly, this is more about the others than about myself. I am relatively encouraged, not there and need to be soon, but encouraged. It is really sad.

Does my rant make sense? I may write more when I have processed more.:)

Interesting article

Hey, I read this article in Boundless the other day and I don't know what to think. I think that the author made some interesting points but all in all I don't know if I agree with it. Check it out:
http://www.boundless.org/features/a0000923.html

Big Five Test Results

Extroversion (68%) moderately high which suggests you are talkative, optimistic, sociable and affectionate but possibly not very internally grounded. Friendliness (68%) moderately high which suggests you are good natured, trusting, and helpful but possibly too agreeable Orderliness (64%) moderately high which suggests you are organized, reliable, neat, and ambitious but possibly not very spontaneous and fun. Emotional Stability (40%) moderately low which suggests you are worrying, insecure, emotional, and nervous. Openmindedness (44%) moderately low which suggests you tend to be closeminded, uncreative, and conventional.

Take Free Big Five Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

American Idol and my life

So, what do American Idol and my life have in common you may ask? Sadly, absolutely NOTHING!  I went  to look at the idol website today to check out when and where auditions for next season are and when and where the concert tour is. Well, check this out: The concert is Aug 7 at 7 p.m. in Omaha. TRANSLATION: I could GO!  Although it is 3 days before I report for EDGE corps. If God brings the funds in before then, you better watch out. Anybody want to go?

As for the auditions the nearest ones are in St. Louis Missouri (which is a short 8 hour drive from Omaha).  But these are on August 8. TRANSLATION:  Same story except not as optimistic. I need to be faithful to fundraising and not take a 3 day haitus to pursue childhood dreams.  So poo!

In other American Idol news, one of the local t.v. stations hosted a "Heartland Idol" audition at the mall 15 minutes from my house a couple of weeks ago. It was a Wed night and I was free but I couldn't bring myself to go. What if I actually made it somewhere? I couldn't do it.  How sad it is to be old and have responsibilities.

Well, other than that I have just not felt well today at all. I am going to go make myself call people but man do a feel icky.:(

Please do not think differently of me for this

This is a very strange article I read on MSN today.  I thought you may be entertained. It is entitled "Teens dangle from meat hooks."
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5458599/

Updates on the site

Check out the updated links on the side. I am SO excited that I figured out the code all by myself.

Ever noticed the banners

Have you ever noticed the banners at the top of my blog?  They are very interesting. For about the past week they have referred to the Sabbath and being Jewish or Seventh-Day Adventist.  I wonder how they decide what to display? I think that they have to pick up on one word and then advertise in conjunction with it.  Hmmm.

In other news, I have a social life! Last night I went out with friends.  Taylor, Evie and Wendy and I went to perkins at 11:45 p.m.  It was a fun time but the one thing it made me painfully aware of is that I am not married. They are all married and at one point in time were all talking about their husbands and their mood swings (or lack thereof).  It was very educational but it is certainly a different world.

On the fundraising front, I have one appointment tonight.  This is my first appointment in three days- halleluyah.  It occured to me today that at the end of this week I will have one more week of fundraising left before I am "supposed" to be funded. Eeek!  I started to worry today.  I read the word and am trusting it to God.  He is able and if he wants it to happen then it will.

 

I want to be witty

Hmm,  I really want to be witty.  But I am really unsure how.  I could tell you about my weekend but you may get bored, drool on your keyboard during the nap and be mad at me for wasting your time.  Lets see, I could tell you about making fundraising calls tonight but then again that may induce more drool.

Well, instead I will just tell you how I am. I am doing alright, I went to Lincoln this weekend. I had two desserts with about 4 couples/singles each and then I made calls both Saturday (yipee) and Sunday evenings.  As of today I am at 55%.  Woo hoo! I officially have less to raise than I already have. Halleluyah.

Today I was thinking about how important it is to have my focus when I talk to potential donors be on loving them and showing them Christ. I am related (by Christs blood) to most of the people I am calling.  I want to bless them and focus more on loving them than on having them meet my needs.  Although, my need seems overpowering at the time.  So, as a consequence tonights  phone calls were better.

I can't wait to show the same love that I have experienced to students at Kansas State I am getting more and more excited as the day gets closer.  Well, thanks for listening to my unwitty rantings.  I will have to think about this witty thing. I will try to do something for ya soon.);)

On another note, I am curious who reads my blog.  If you read this and you don't think I know you do leave a comment please. :)

The stones will cry out

Alright friends, if you understand the title than yay. If not I may be taking the verse (luke 19:40) grossly out of context.  Either way, I must praise the power of my provider God today.

Today as circumstances would have it, I recieved 15% of my funding in one day! Woo hoo!  That makes... 46%.  I keep trying to rejoice but Satan is right there with me. This is such a spiritual battle. Anyway, Jehovah-jirah deserves all the glory for that number.

Feeling the need

Have you ever had a day when you feel the need to post something, but there is not necessarily a desire to post? Well, today is such a day. 

I guess I can tell you that I went to Lincoln yesterday and I spent the night with the Curtis's. I thought it would be awkward (ya know them being married and all) but it wasn't.  I had two appointments in Lincoln last night and I actually really enjoyed both of them. I also had an appointment this morning  which was followed by a hair appointment. Yes, I finally got this mop that sits on the top of my head trimmed.  It is different. I got bangs cut. Basically, my hair looks like a long version of Cora's hair.

Today was a good fundraising day.  I got about 10% of my budget in the mail.  All at once.  Praise the Lord.  I have been learning two main things lately:
1) My faith is too circumstantial. Every time funding is slow, I think God has forgotten. The opposite is also true.

2)I can only take responsibility for things that are in my control. As strange as that sounds, fundraising has a lot of factors that are outside of my control.    Those things I can't worry about.

Cliches I enjoy

A season of testing is a small price to pay for a clearer view of God.
 
When you want to quit you don't really want to quit. You want to want to quit.
 
 

Home and stuff

Hey friends.  I am home again.  My trip to Lincoln was hard. Very hard.  I stayed with some relatives who do not know Christ and they doubted, questioned and challenged my vision and what God has called me to do.  I got to share the gospel with them though and that was neat.  I have prayed for an opportunity for years.  It is interesting that my opportunity came under these cirumstances.  I decided to come home a couple of days early because I needed to get out of that environment and get perspective.
 
I did have some fun in Lincoln too. I hung out with Rachael on Thursday night and we had good conversation and Sonya was in town the whole weekend too.  I hung with her on both Friday and Saturday night.   It was so good to see friends.   It made this EDGE thing so much more real though. I am moving away. I graduated from College.  Life is going to change quickly and probably not ever be the same again.  I hate that about this life, but again it reminds me that the only secure thing I have is Christ.  I need to cling to him and seek to know Him better through every stage of life's journeys.
 
For those of you hungry for a fundraising update... I am at 31%.  I have 3 weeks left of fundraising.
 
Well, that is about all I know. Thanks to everyone who answered my question a couple of days ago.  Interesting perspective.  I rarely think of modesty as an internal thing. Something to ponder.
 
 
 

I will be out of the City for a while

Well friends,

Tommorrow bright and early in the a.m. I plan to depart for Lincoln and do fundraising appointments down there. It is a very strange feeling. I almost feel like I am taking time off fundraising to go to Lincoln (so not true) but weird. I have gotten into a groove in Omaha so calling Lincoln people is a whole different game. The biggest problem I have had with Lincoln friends is not being able to get a hold of them. So, you can defintely pray for that. I called for 45 minutes tonight and talked to two people: one of which doesn't live in Lincoln.

Well, all in all I am fighting apathy, laziness, fear and despair over this process. So plese pray for that too.

So I will be gone for at least the rest of the week. Maybe longer. I'll write when I get back.:)

Question

Alright, I was thinking about something today. So, men in particular I need your advice.

Is it immodest to wear a spaghetti strapped dress to a non-formal function?

I would really appreciate your input in the comments section. I don't necessarily need to know who you are. You can post as anonymous, just let me know whether you are a guy or a girl. Thanks!

the sabboth and a strange opportunity

Alright, thank you to everyone who has rushed in when my strength had rushed out. You are all a huge blessing of God and vessels of His. You know who you are. I am blessed beyond what I deserve.

So the sabbath. Today was the sabbath. Monday eh!? Yes sir. Yes maam. God had a great idea and command when he took the seventh day off and asked man to do the same. I didn't fundraise today (well mostly- it was hard!). It was so neat to exercise the freedom that God has given and it was soul refreshing. In some ways I am ready to go fundraise again. It gave me strength and perspective. If nothing else it really helped me realize that my identity is not in being a missionary raising support, but my identity is a child of God who is loved by God and seeking to love God with her life.

And for the strange opportunity, today someone called to ask my brother if he wanted to sit with a football player Ryan Krause while he signs football cards tommorrow for 3 hours. I agreed to do it if my brother wouldn't. I get paid 50 flow. [[[Can you use flow that way?!]]] It is kind of weird. It is through a marketing group that Topps football cards hires. And apparently Topps gives away 1 signed card with each box people buy. So I will go to Ryan's house tommorrow and watch him sign 1500 cards. How exciting! Well, I am not so sure about that. I get flow either way.;)

In other news, my brother got a semi-promotion. He is going to be the commanders driver at Fort Riley. He was one of 5 soldiers interviewed at Ft. Riley and he got it. He is a little disappointed because he won't get to be garrison which is the whole reason he wanted to be an MP but Steve (my stepdad) thinks that he will get promoted faster that way (which means higher pay, etc).

Well I am off to talk to Dad.:)

This is my EDGE class. There are 38 or so of us.

These are all the brave ones who are going back to their own campus or going to a new campus (they are the only one going to their campus in our EDGE class). From L to R: Joni (University of California-Irvine) (She has been growing her hair out her entire life!), Joy M (New York University), Jon C (Penn State), Kathy (California State- Long Beach), Rachel (Campus Leadership Network and is stationed out of the University of Northern Iowa), and Becky (California State- Long Beach- She is not in our EDGE class. She just came for funding school.

This is the fantastic and beautiful Kansas State staff team (minus 2). From left to right: Joel (Him and his wife are the campus directors and only other two staff at Kansas State), Meredith, Ben, and myself. The two who are not pictured are: Joel's wife Jen and Ben the other man on the team.

This is the Univerisity of Tennessee team. L to R: Jon H, Andrea, Rachel and Chad.

This is the NE team. L to R: Emily, Darin (who is not technically doing EDGE anymore), and Jaci. Go Huskers!

This team is going to the University of Arizona. L to R: Hannah, Laurie, Garrett, and Sam.

Kansas State here we come. Meredith and me. Everyone else had left by banquet time.

This is the I-EDGE team. They are going to Sheffield, England. L to R: Mindy, campus trainer and EDGE staffer Christy (not going to England), and Kacie. I know Kacie from SMR. She is also sweet.

This is the University of Massachussetes team (I can't spell MA obviously). From L to R: Steve, Sarah, campus trainer (Dan), Katherine, and John.

This is the Texas Tech team. L to R: Jackie, campus trainers and baby, Samira.

This is a team of two women. They are going to Arizona State. L to R: Liz, campus trainer proxies (2), Emily. Emily lives around Omaha and we chill. She is a huge blessing.

This is the other K-State team: Kent state (It is in Ohio I think). From left to right: Josh, Heidi, campus trainer, Kate and Kenny.

This is the West Texas A & M team. I had never heard of West Texas A & M before. From L to R: Andy, Mitch, campus trainers (2), Christy (my funding prayer partner- she is awesome), and Joy A.

Just when you thought the pictures were getting boring. This is Andy and Jon C wrestling. It was much more entertaining in person.

This is Christy and I. She is my funding prayer warrior and I am hers.

This is taken for all the Nebraska fans out there. Old NE student me and new NE EDGErs.

This is all the ladies in my funding Bible study for EDGE.

Kansas State women. Me and Meredith my teammate.

Laurie and I. She is going from Penn State and is going to the University of Arizona. We were both told before training that we had to meet each other. That is good advice. She is sweet.

These are some of the EDGE 2004 men. Notice Ben C-nuts hair and Darins (who is the second from the right- in the back) teeth. Darin is going on short term staff at NE.

Me and the EDGE ladies at EDGE summit. From left to right: Emily (going to NE), Heidi, Kate, Katherine, Jaci (going to NE), and me.

Discouraged and doubting

I am so discouraged today. I am tired, emotional, and just plain discouraged. It seems I am getting to the bottom of my lists for face to face appointments. I really wanted to have 10 a week and feel like I am working as hard at fundraising as I know how. But I am running out of friendly people to call.

I cut my plans tonight short so that I could get home and make phone calls. You see as of today I didn't have any Lincoln appointments planned and I am going to Lincoln Wed-Sun/ Monday of next week. It seems a lot of people I have called are unable to support me or are not home or don't know who I am. It is so sad to me that I have gone to Trinity (my church in Lincoln) for four years and still know very few people. I have tried to be involved to varying degrees the entire time I have been there but the further I got involved in Navs the less involved I was able to be at Trinity. So I have lost contact over the years. I don't know what was so hard for me tonight. What was missing I think was that inerrant support in me. The people I have been calling and visiting in Omaha know me and really believe in me and it felt like the people I called tonight thought of me as just another missionary from their church asking them for money they dont have. And actually the thing I was asked the most tonight was, oh yeah we got your letter did you just get back from somewhere?

Ick! There is SO far to go. SO much money that still has to come in and so little time (4 weeks). I am so thankful for all that have supported me but I can't help but wonder if their support is misplaced and that God will not supply and I will have to admit in shame that I shouldn't be in full time ministry which is one of my life dreams come true.

Well, those are my rantings for the evening. If you can see what to pray for in there please do.:)

The day of phone calls

I have had a fantastic day. Fantastic... Absolutely! I talked to Rachael, Tracy and a lot of other people. It was fun to catch up with people and to have some unfundraising related phone calls.

Two thoughts for the day:
1) Talking to people all day is TIRING. My parents would be shocked at this? Jenny, tired of the phone?! Wow!

2) Fundraising is a very alienating process. It seems that very few people really understand (even peers). It can be really easy to tell people to trust God from the outside but from the inside it is a little more complicated than that. Does that make sense? Or do you think I am just making excuses?

Anyway, I am a very blessed girl however you look at it. I have good friends, a good support system and 22% of my funds! Woo hoo!

I am off to eat dinner and go to a fundraising appointment. What a great Saturday night activity!

Finally organized my room and other fun life facts

So, this post will be rather dull: FYI. Your life just can't be exciting all the time.

Last night, I had a very good meeting with my friends parents and their daughter. It was a very encouraging and challenging time for me (and the daughter and the parents are both going to support me) so that is always nice too. I am running into some weird road bumps with funding. My church in Lincoln can't do any financial support because of recent church funding problems but they are willing to host a lunch and a dessert for me and invite different groups of people to both of them, but that leaves me perplexed. Almost all the people I was planning on meeting with face to face in Lincoln are members of my church. So what is a girl to do? Face to faces are supposed to be more productive and personal but then there is this dessert idea. So that has me stumped. And scheduling has been a little frustrating in Omaha recently. There is one couple in particular that I have probably called 10 times since this process started and have never gotten a hold of them. And I am starting to feel like a stalker.

As for the title of this post, I finally organized my room. Ever since I have moved home, things have been accumulating in their own little corners of my room. So, last night I boxed some stuff and took it downstairs. Today I am going to find a dresser and organize my clothes. If you have never tried, life is frustrating without a dresser. It felt so good to get up to a clean room this morning. Ahh, the simple joys in life.

Well, talking about organizing my room makes me want to go be productive.

This is a picture of all the EDGE 2004 women on women's night. We are sure cute aren't we.:)Cal, thanks for the lesson on how to get this saved as a JPEG... good trick!

Scary picture and more funding news- yay

I was just looking at my profile picture and I think it is kind of scary. So sorry. On the picture note. I have a picture of the EDGE women that I want to post online, but I can't because everytime I try to save it, it saves as a bitmap image and hello (the program I use to post pictures on this beautiful specimin of a website) will only let me post jpeg images. Help!? I have SO many techie friends someone has to know how to get around this. Any advice would be appreciated and welcomed and likely uncompensated.

Anways, today was a very very good day. I met with a couple from my church in Omaha tonight and they gave 500 one time and pledged 50 a month. That is the most generous (from a strict monetary standpoint) that anyone has been. I just about cried at their kitchen table. Both couples I met with today are grandparents and prayed with me before I left. It was SO awesome. I got teary during each of the visits. This is the beautiful side of fundraising, you get to spend time with people sharing your heart and encouraging them and they encourage back.

I am starting to get into the swing of fundraising. Phone calls are not as scary nor is the drive to my face to face appointments. The two things that changed that was: 1)realizing that Jesus was actually with me whenever I do anything and
2)realizing that people are going to say no. I will have to hear nos in order to get yeses. (Is that how you spell that?)

So the day was encouraging. I talked to Jill last night and she helped me too. She reminded me that my math is NOT God's math. My math says that if I don't get 20% of my funding a week then I will not be funded on time. God doesn't necessarily work that way. He is in control.

Well, again I do not know much other than fundraising. I am going to work on knowing something else.:)

I'm home

Happy 4th of July everyone!

We got home today after a fun trip to South Dakota. I may never say this again but I really ENJOYED the small town, country feeling of SD. It was peaceful and it really felt like a vacation. It also allowed my heart to settle down a little bit. It has been an emotional week.

We had slight vehicular problems on the way home. We pull off at a gas station about 50 miles out of Sioux City (I think that is what it is called- it is the city that touches IA, NE and SD) and my Dad and Mom were convinced that the water pump is going out in the vehicle. Hmm, we are still at least 3 hours out of Omaha. Slight problem. So what is a girl to do? I started praying. God got us home safely without any altracations. Which was pretty awesome.

In other news, I had a fun time at the family reunion this weekend. There were very few people there my age but that was alright. I got to share with my family about EDGE and that was really encouraging. They were very supportive and excited for me. They will probably remain supportive as long as I don't make a career out of the missionary thing. Well, that we will see about.

Anyways, I don't know too much. I was reading in Mark 3 - 6ish today about Jesus and I guess I just want to say that I know an AWESOME God. I was completely fascinated by Jesus and how he had compassion on people, healed them and really met their needs. He IS God and he takes the time to drive out demons and heal people of deformities they have had their entire lives. So, I was touched by his compassion. Beyond that, I was also intrigued by his response to a man that he drove a legion of demons out of. The man tried to follow Jesus where he was going and Jesus told him instead to go home and tell his village what had happenned to him. That challenged me because so often I would rather just be with Jesus (ie. by myself with my Bible and God) than go out and tell about what he has done for me.

All of my rantings reminded me at EDGE summit, Darin Lindbloom said that he has known people (he was specifically referring to non-believers) to not be attracted to Christianity but he has never known people to not be attracted to Jesus. Ponder that, I think he is right.

I want to close with a quote on faith that inspired me today it goes:
"Faith is stepping out so far that God has to do a miracle to keep you from falling." Dr. Ian Thomas
One word comes to mind with this quote... I'll give you one guess.;)

Something besides fundraising

I would really like to post about something other than fundraising, so here goes:
(I will have you know that it took me a good 2 minutes to think of something not fundraising related)

I am going out of town this weekend. I am going to the thriving metropolis of Hitchcock, South Dakota (I think). My stepdad's family is having a family reunion. Which most people enjoy or at least are comfortable at, but the problem here is "family reunions" are the times when I meet a bunch of people I am related to but have never met. So that is kind of odd for me. Oh well. It should be fun. (Here comes fundraising again) It will be interesting to see if I decide to approach them about fundraising or not.:)

Update

As of today I am at 9.9% of my budget for the fall.:)

the convulsing before the phone calls

Earlier today, I picked up the phone on a mission to call some churches and friends. My body starts shaking and I can tell that if I open my mouth to speak it may be hard to understand me due to the extreme vibration in my voice. This is the difficult side of fundraising. The side that makes me want to throw in the towel but Satan will NOT win this battle. After staring at the phone for a good twenty minutes I discovered the courage or really had just reached the point of being SO annoyed at my cowardice that I had to start calling. So a half hour later, I am still convulsing from nerves and have three fundraising appointments for next week. I must remember:

"For we are not like many, peddling the word of God, but as from sincerity, but as from God, we speak in Christ in the sight of God." 2 Corinthians 2:17

First day of many

Well, I am home. I got home Saturday night at about 11:30 p.m., unpacked (kind of) and went to bed. Then Sunday morning I got up for church, came home, talked to Sonya, went to Lincoln and then over the course of the last 24 hours have had 6 fundraising appointments! Praise the LORD for His people who have encouraged and challenged me. From what I have at this point, I am at 7% of my budget. There are still some folks I met with today and yesterday that are praying about what to give.

Honestly, I am absolutely overwhelmed that anyone would consider giving their money to what God is doing through me. It makes me want to cry and shout and jump around simultaneously. It also really makes me see a tangible expression of God's goodness.

God is amazing. Have a mentioned that recently? He is amazing in so many ways but the way I have been pondering recently is how he personally meets his people's needs. He ALWAYS provides what we need- be it his peace or something as large as 28 grand. I am so glad that I belong to Christ!

In other news, I am tired. I fell asleep in between appointments today for a good 3 hours! The conference wore me out.

Ooh.. the conference. I will post some stuff up here later about what I learned. Because, man did I learn a lot.

nerves

Hey friends!

I am at the Glen again and I am getting ready to leave on Saturaday. Please pray for:

1)Strength and courage as I face fundraising. I think that the biggest obstacle is my own fear
2) Pray for my 5(maybe 6 appointments) next week- praise God for people willing to listen to what he is doing in my life.

Praise God for how faithful he has already been and just that he has given me the grace to serve him and to spend this week with people who love him too!

Love ya!

Guess who knows where they are going....

Hey friends,

I am on the computer at the Castle at the Glen and I wanted to say hi, put some prayer requests out and also let you all know where I will be pursuing the lost next year.

(Let the drum roll begin)....


I will be at




KANSAS STATE UNIVERSITY!!!!!

I am SO excited but I feel a little bit traiterous. Who will I cheer for when the Huskers are in town?!

Here are some things you can pray for me:

1) Romans 9:3 That my heart would break for the lost at KSU
2) Team unity and love. May I love the people on my team (Meredith Reeves, Ben Chesnut, Ben Deaver and Joel and Jen Johnson) as Christ loves me! I am thinking of verses like Phil 2:3-4 and John 13 (maybe 15).
3) Trusting God. I don't want to be rebellious out of fear!
4) Donors hearts- may the people I talk to catch the vision whether or not they are financially able to give. We send out our letters tommorrow.

I look forward to seeing some of you soon and others of you later.

Peace out!

final post for a while

Hey friends!

I am writing to tell you that I will not be writing for a while. On Monday I leave for training for EDGE corps. For those of you who don't know what it is. It is a short term missionary assignment with the Navigators. I am feeling the stress for sure. I am SO excited to meet people and find out what campus God has called me to next year but I am still very overwhelmed.

The fundraising homework I have left consists of: half of a Bible study and budgeting. I am sure it will get done, but I am feeling the bondage to my laziness.

In other news I got to 250 contacts on my fundraising sheet. I think that is GOOD. I am very pleased.

If you are the praying sort please lift up the following while I am gone:
1)Pray for friends. I am going to be meeting a lot of new people. (John 15:12)
2) Pray for energy. It will be emotionally, spiritually and probably physically demanding. (1 Cor 9:26-27)
3) Peace about my placement. I have been experiencing a lot of fear about placement and confusion over the whole experience. I will find out at the conference where I am going. (Psalm 112:6-7)
4) Pray that God would captivate me with his love and that love would cause me to be obedient. I want to rely on God fully. (Psalm 63)
5) Pray for my potential donors. We will send out our first letter at the conference. Pray for encouragement in monetary form when I get home. (Phil 4:19)
6) Pray for my family- that they would be at peace with where God puts me.

If you weren't in Nebraska today, the weather was horrendous! It rained ALL day long...ick!

Have a great couple of weeks.

1 a.m. and only to the R's...

Let me just say I had a fight with my printer tonight and I did not get out unscathed. Goodnight!

Sonya and I. This is the only picture of me in my graduation gown.

Jill and I.

I love this picture of Tracy and me.

We did this to Phil

The women in the picture below taught the men to do this with their towels

Let me know if this is too scandalous

This is Rachael, me and Jill at my Birthday party

The strange man in the house and other entertaining news

So, tonight my family and I are sitting in the living room watching Along came Polly (Jennifer Aniston, Ben Stiller- not a good movie don't see it). My mom, dad, stepbrother, his girlfriend and myself are all in the living room. The front door opens, closes and someone definitely walks in. Everyone in the room is thinking the same thing- what the heck? I was counting and making sure we were all there and trying to figure out who would just come into our house without knocking. Any ideas yet? Yep. You guessed it. My brother came home for the weekend without telling any of us he was going to come home. He is in the Army and since tommorrow is declared a national day of mourning for President Reagan he got the day off and decided to come home. Yay!

In other news, I bought 100 dollars worth of stamps today. It was a funny exchange. I went to the post office and asked for 300 stamps. The woman at the counter got them for me, no problems. She went on to tell me that the total was one thirteen twenty two. I am certain my jaw dropped to the floor as I replied "You mean one-hundred dollars?" The clerk went on to explain to me that one set of 100 stamps is 37 dollars so if you get three... I cut her off and said yeah I understand I was just a little shocked. I left the post office feeling rather silly.

I was thinking about it and I have only spent over 100 dollars of my own money on something twice in my life. When I was in high school I saved up money for a C.D player for my car (that was about 200 dollars six years ago). This would be the other time. Wow. It just seems like 37 cent things should not total to that much money-ever.

I know you are dying to know... I did go to Omaha Bible study last night and it was very encouraging. We discussed Psalm 23 and how God is our Shepherd and what our response is to that. I am so thankful that God does guide me, go before me and want me to listen to His voice and follow Him. Kira and Baracah were great Bible study leaders and I was in a group with awesome people. All in all though, I probably only knew half of the people there. Which took me by surprise because I led the Omaha study last summer.(Phil, are you happy with my English now?)

I got some pictures developed today and I just about cried when I looked at them. I have such great friends- I am very blessed and I miss them so much. I will post some so you can see them too.:) You have to promise me that you won't cry though.

Ammendment to my post: I am a BIG fat liar. I have paid more than a hundred dollars at a time for rent and tuition. But that seems reasonable... stamps? No way!

Hymn #508

I found this in a hymnal a few years back and it has spoken to me a couple of times now. I am not sure that I agree theologically with all of it and not all of it is accurate to how I feel but I thought I would share it. I hope I am not breaking any copyright laws. It is by Catherine Marshall.

Father, once I had such big dreams so much anticipation of the future.
Now, no shimmering horizon beckons me; my days are lack-lustre.
I see so little of value in the daily round.
Where is your plan for my life?

You have told us that without vision; we men perish.
So, Father in heaven, knowing that I can ask in confidence for what is your expressed will to give me, I ask you to deposit in my mind and heart that particular dream- the special vision you have for my life.

I sense this may involve adventures I have not bargained for.
But I want to trust you enough to follow even if you lead along new paths. I admit to liking some of my ruts. But I know that habit patterns that seem like cozy nests from inside from your vantage points can be prisons.

Lord, if you have to break down any prisons of mine before I can see the stars and catch the vision, then Lord begin the process now.

3rd day in a row

To clarify the title of this post, I am posting for the third day in a row and I am proud of my discipline. Blogging has been fun (at least for the three days I have been doing it).

Today was good. I went to bed earlier last night in an effort to get up earlier today. That didn't work as well as I would have hoped. I couldn't fall asleep any earlier than usual thus I didn't get up any earlier than usual. Oh well, I will try again tonight.

Today I haven't done any fundraising stuff yet. I should get on that. My "homework" is due at the Summit. I still have to look at my budget, do a Bible study on fundraising, revise my letter and print my envelopes.

On a fun note, I talked to two of my future EDGE participants tonight. Their names are Chad and Mindy. They are both coming from South Dakota to the Summit and responded to my email asking for a ride home. I called them tonight to tell them I didn't need a ride. How funny. We ended up talking for 45 minutes or so. It was really nice. They both seemed really sweet. I am now getting excited. Chad made me feel a little better about my worries about moving to a new place. It seems others can identify to some extent and he reminded me that we are all in the same boat. That also helped.

I am working really hard at writing a longer or shorter post. They have all been about the same length. I am planning on going to Omaha Bible study tommorrow night. I am excited to see people and just to check it out.

Lazy last week of summer

Wow. My summer has been really lazy. I woke up at 12:30 then I spent about four hours with Evangeline doing accountability. It was really great. Lots of James 5:16 going on: "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." Although neither of us are righteous men you get the point. Then, I came home and ate dinner. Somehow, I have spent the rest of the night doing stuff. Oh yeah, I talked to Ben C-nut. We may not ride down to the EDGE summit together anymore. That is cool. He is in a wedding and needs to make sure he can get back for it. He will either fly or ride with us in his car. If we ride in his car, Jaci and I will need a ride home so I sent an email to many strangers (soon to not be strangers) that I will be doing EDGE corps with next fall and asked for a ride home for Jaci and I. We'll see who replies.

Tonight I am hanging out around home working on my fundraising database. We are getting there. I have 200 names and more addresses than I did last time I posted about this. EDGE wants me to have 300. Wow, my life is boring. I am telling you all how many names I have in my database.

On another note, I laughed really hard at the comments on my 2nd post. You should check them out.

2nd Post...Cal that title is for you

The past day has been relatively uneventful. Last night, I watched the Princess Bride for the first time ever. It was pretty funny. In a lot of ways though it was SO 1980's that I was unimpressed. It was a good time though. Jake, if you're reading this, you need to see the movie. It is NOT a chickflick and you would probably appreciate the humor.

I watched the movie with Travis and we had some really good conversation. I would classify it as actual fellowship. We talked about rock music and whether or not it was sinful. We also discussed how Christians try and perform for God and we have a very hard time understanding that our standing before God has nothing to do with our goodness. It had nothing to do with our "goodness" when Christ accepted us into his family and it has nothing to do with our goodness now that we are in his family. Easy to say, tough to believe. I left his place encouraged to seek God.

So, that was Saturday night. Saturday afternoon I shopped with my mother all day and only bought one shirt. That's women for ya!

In other news, I set my alarm clock for p.m. instead of a.m. this morning (I havent't used my alarm but once this summer) and missed church as a result. That was frustrating. Omaha church and I have severe problems going together.

This morning it occured to me that in a little over a week I will be in Colorado starting my EDGE adventure. It doesn't seem real. Maybe it shouldn't yet.

Oh well. I am off to find Wal-mart and develop some pictures.

Oh the excitement of blogging

Hey everyone!

This is my first blog and it is a lot harder than I thought it would be. Welcome. Hopefully, this will be a fun place to read about my life adventures this next year.

Cal says that blogging is "all down hill from here."

Well, I had an awesome birthday today. My friends Evie and Rachael planned me a party. Before the party I got to spend quality time with Evie, Jill and Rachael. They took me to Chili's where we enjoyed dinner and good fellowship. I think it is really neat how Christians can relate with each other- even if they don't know each other very well. The only frustrating part of the day was having to clean up my house for the party. That was disappointing.

Lately, I have been putting together fundraising stuff. I have learned that administration is NOT my first love. I am presently just assembling a list of names to send my first letter asking for prayer/ financial support. The task is daunting. EDGE wants me to have 300 contacts. I am at 180 minus about 50 addresses still. I need more patience. Although, it has been neat to see God bring names to mind and see him provide contacts in interesting ways.:)

Speaking of EDGE corps, I leave for EDGE conference June 14. I am very excited but also a little nervous for the whole adventure to begin. It is certainly going to be a challenging and exciting time in life.

I am not sure how to end a post... I will work on this. For American Idol fans out there I could say Jenny out but that is WAY too cheesy.