My dad on Christmas!

life and such

Hey all! Christmas here was fantastic. My parents just remodeled their kitchen so it was interesting to try to get all that work to a stopping point and commence holiday activities. Jon came up for christmas. That was highly enjoyable. We had been having some problems recently so it was really good to see him and remember how much we actually do like each other.

I got some fun gifts for Christmas. I got a digital camara (which I will soon use to regale you with a recap of my holiday). I also got about 5 pairs of earrings. which I opened consequetively. Interesting.

As for me, I am at Omaha for as much of the holiday break as I would like. I am spending my days doing the piddly things in life that add up and need to be done. I am also doing fundraising. As of todays count, I have 870 left to raise. Not so bad. God has been very faithful this semester and this year to provide what I need. At present, I am in the throws of deciding what to do with my life next year. I have no idea what kind of career I want to pursue or well tmuch of anything. Oh the joys of being 23. For the curious out there: I could stay with Navs, teach or go back to school (and potentially get a degree in counseling).

Well that is enough of my banter. Jon is coming up for New Years this weekend also which is really fun!

Conversations at the apartment

And NO Tracy isn't the only one who talks...

"I think my job is killing my inner child." Tracy

"I live vicariously through my friends." Tracy

Me and my freshman at Barn Dance. Look I'm a hillbilly!

Halloween!

Cute jon with a sprained ankle!

Me and the roomies!

me, a morning person?

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

How is life treating you all? All of the sudden, I feel very disconnected from people. Yesterday my mom made the comment that I have been home more than usual this break. I don't really know why that is. Some of it may be that I live by a lot of my friends and some of it may be that I don't hang out with people that aren't in Navs (staff or otherwise) very often. Goodness. Has anybody else experienced this? Is it normal post-college friend shifts or is it something else? I am curious.

I got up this morning and went shopping with the crowds at 7 a.m. I bought a gift for Jon that was a GREAT price. I was so excited. Then, in my excitement I told him how much it cost. Silly girl! Also, I was so tired I went to sign my name and actually signed my moms instead! That was when I knew I wouldn't make it as a post-thankgiving shopper.

Microwave cake

I microwaved my first cake today. Enough said...

gmail

Tracy and I chatted tonight about how much we love gmail and want to post about it so I thought I would do so.

Reasons I love gmail:
1) Lots of storage
2) They group messages into "conversations" so you dont have to look up old messages when reading a reply
3) They have a search feature- so much easier than flipping through old emails
4) They let you stay signed in on your computer
5) It does the math on how long ago an email was sent or receieved for you and tells you (sent 2 hours ago etc.)
6) Archiving is good
7) The spam filter is very handy


That is all for now. I heart gmail!

The white beaches and the white snow

So what do these two things have in common? Well , they are both things that I experienced in the last week. Have you ever been to Florida? The beaches are pure white. It was SO beautiful.

Ya'll I had a GREAT weekend away. It was really enjoyable to be in FL and it was SO fun to meet the parents in South Carolina too. I am glad to be back but I kinda miss being gone and being there. The cold may also kill me.

Wow, there is so much to report about what went on while I was gone. As for the conference, it was a really good time to just spend time with other people. One thing God really taught me was about the fear I have in approaching him. I learned that it is because I have a hard time trusting him that He is good and will make good decisions with my life. I also realized that fear is not from God. Both of those lessons were good.

At the EDGE summit, we had a day of prayer with our national prayer director and that was also amazing. Basically we just shared how we were doing with each other and prayed. That was refreshing.

South Carolina was also a GOOD time. I met Jon's parents and both of his brother's families. There was 3 kids under 3 years old around everytime we got together which was surprisingly really fun for me. I had a lot of fun playing with the oldest one (I think she is 3). She is such a girl and she is a ton of fun. I was just thinking about how people can ever hurt kids. I would seriously go nuts if I found out that anyone ever hurt her she is SO precious (and I've only hung out with her twice).

We went to Charleston on Saturday and that was breathtaking. The city is beautiful and old. It reminds me so much of a stereotypical southern city. It was also probably the best date of my life (and the longest- some 13 hours or so). There was a car ride, a couple good seafood meals, walking on the beach, swinging on porch swings and getting homemade candy at the candy store. I miss it already.

There ya have it folks. Oh wait, I did get some bad news this weekend. I found out that I still need to rasie approx. 6900 dollars to make my budget for Navs. ICK!!!! But it was cool that God had already raised some and had it waiting for me when I got back from FL!

random thoughts

Have you ever noticed how incredibly pink my blog is? It is really pink. Today it kind of disgusted me. Interesting response. Especially from me.

Today has been incredibly busy. I leave town at 6 in the am tommorrow for Florida. I will enjoy the beach for a week and a half and then I will enjoy Jon for half a week.

Finally I have been thinking about pain. It seems that some of the times that things in life hurt the most are the times when I am most deeply inclined to plead with God to send Jesus back, to reach out to others with Christ's love and sincerely look beyond myself. Because when things hurt a lot you remember what really matters. God, the Word and the souls of men.

Have a good 2 weeks!

TN, and tigers and bears oh my!

So friends I went to TN last weekend. It was a good time. I enjoyed seeing Jon and just having a relaxing weekend away from the stresses of campus and UNL. I also slept better when I was down there. I guess I needed to be by Jon to sleep well. Hmm interesting! :)

I went to the dorms tonight and it was really sweet. I got to see a lot of my freshman and I am starting to feel more comfortable in those relationships. It is amazing how if you push past the akwardness at the beginning it gets better.

I went to Wal-mart tonight. Did you know that it is not "fan season" anymore? Now all they sell are heaters. Well, I didn't want a heater. They are hot. I wanted a fan to make noise so needless to say I didn't buy a fan but I want one still. I think that the white noise it provides will aid sleepiness at night.

Speaking of sleepiness I am tired so I should head off. We have Main Event this weekend! I am starting to get excited. I also bought an air matress - finally broke down. I think it will be GLORIOUS! (Jon that was for you!)

procrasinating

Hey friends- Here I am blogging when I should be working. I feel like a college student minus the dorms. I sure do miss the dorms. I think I miss the community and the opportunities for the gospel to be advanced. Speaking of the gospel being advanced, that is something that I am avoiding-- putting the finishing touches on my LESTER workshop for tomorrow. Eesh! I am so excited though I get to talk at LESTER about evangelism and the more practical side of it. We will chart our relationships (for all the visual people out there) and then we will talk about some tangible things we can do in each of those relationships to foster an environment where the gospel advances.


Exciting stuff. In other news, I have been kind of down in the dumps lately. I think that my job is not all I hoped for yet and it is hard to deal with that reality. Jon and I are doing fantastically though. He is an amazing man of God. Well that is all for now. I must finish the LESTER workshop.

You can pray for my sleeping habits. I have not been sleeping well AT ALL! It has been some pretty bad insomnia and made for some frustrating nights.

Where have all the bloggers gone?

I have decided that the pressures and demands of being adults has killed the blogging scene for my friends. Maybe it isn't the pressures. Maybe it is the lack of newness/ excitement. Who knows? I just know that I have significantly less things to connect me to people I use to feel very close to. But maybe that is just part of being an adult. It is interesting that blogging silence has left a void...

Been a long time...

Ya know, I sat down today to update this blog and realized that I don't have as much to say as I would like to. It seems once you enter the adult world of going to work, taking care of the house and going to bed life is not as interesting. Although, I would say that my job is.

First thing: Don't you hate how dirty things get SO quickly? I hate that my apartment does not stay clean at all! It reminds me of when I did five aspects of a woman and how Kathy hit home the idea that out environments tend towards death and destruction. They do. It is part of the curse. So random thought... my dirty apartment makes me want Jesus to come back or take me home sooner.

Second thing : Campus has been really good so far. It has been kind-of awkward figuring out where I fit in this whole thing. Do I do what I did when I was a student or something new? All the things I have been assigned to are new but my heart still aches for some of the visions God gave me in College. And when I say visions I don't mean actually visions but ya know the things I thought were important to give my time too!

Anyways, so I am leading an amazing FC study (freshman connection bible study) and it has just been such a joy. I am leading with 2 other leaders (Amy and jeanette) and we have had about 21 girls come off and on. God really just did that himself. Amy and Jeanette are awesome too. They have loved those women well!

I am also spending time giving leadership to the team of student leaders who lead FC studies. Me Jaci, Tom and Ben Chesnut have planned FC nights and student leader training times. I am actually giving a workshop at LESTER (our student leader team) in 2 weeks.

I am really enjoying living with Tracy and Sonya. They are so much fun and so much encouragment. They are probably the only factor in my life that makes me feel half-way like a normal grown-up.

There is a lot more to report but in the interest of reader interest I am done! :)

this weekend

I am leaving for the LESTER retreat very very soon. What an interesting thing. I remember thinking my Senior year that many of the things I was doing were "my last ..." It is weird to have them again but I am excited.

See ya!

so sleepy

Hey.

At Becca's request I am updating this blog more often. I have officially moved to Lincoln and the school year is underway. I helped facilitate a student leader meeting this morning. I talked about setting the tone for freshman connection this year. I will be leading a freshman bible study this year in either Abel/Sandoz or HSS and I am excited to do so. BUT I am stinking TIRED!

Jon and I are good. Yep good. Friday was our 2 month "versary." Yes, we are nerdy enough to recognize that anniversaries only happen once a year! So we have month versaries.

Funding is also goodish. I am 83% but the funds have next to stopped coming in. I need to get back on the phones.

In other news, I went to Manhattan this Friday (SORRY all the people I didn't see) to pick up the last load of stuff at my host families house. It was one of those drive down, load the car, wait out the thunderstorms and drive home kind of trips. It made me sad though because I can't wait to see my gals back in good old Manhappenin'.

Lincoln

Guess who is living in Lincoln? Do not be fooled though. I am not done fundraising yet. :)

the recap of the visit

I thought I would write all of my anxiously awaiting readers to tell you that Jon's visit to NE was great. Him and I had a lot of fun and I think that we both really got to know each other better through it. I want to sit here and post all of the gushy details of what we did and how I felt about it all but somehow it seems too personal to post. I guess I will just leave it at we had a great time and I am looking forward to continuing to get to know him and the next time I can see him. Some of the activities we did when he was here consisited of: the card party at Jake's house, coffee with Jill and Rob, walk at Holmes lake, grocery shopping with my grandma, star watching out at Mahoney, Omaha beef football game, walking around the Old Market, the zoo, seeing my brother off for Iraq at the airport, watching Spider Man 2 (one of his favorite movies) and A Walk to Remember (my favorite movie) with my family, church, walking around UNL, and going out to lunch and to dinner with my family, and me making funding calls.

As for my funding and moving situations they are up in the air at this point. I am 42% funded (maybe a little more) and I am starting to wonder how and if this is going to happen. Sonya moved into our apartment on Tuesday (yesterday) and I may start transporting stuff down there this Saturaday. It should be good. A lot will depend on what Mike's idea is for when he wants me to move down dependent on funding. My staff retreat starts on Monday. I dont know if he will have me come to it or not. Welp that is all for now.

Me and the ladies in East Asia

This is a picture of me and the Americans at the Great Wall

This is a picture of the guy I am dating in TN (hypothetically speaking of course). :)

Visitor

Guess who has a visitor in 5 days?! I do! I am so excited. Nuff said.

I am having a dillema. If you had to choose between going to a family wedding three hours away and going to an indoor arena football game with the guy you are dating who lives in TN and LOVES to watch sports which would you choose? Hypothetically speaking of course.

Tis the season

It is wedding season. No denying it. It is. Although, this is one of the first summers that I have not have numerous friends getting married. I think that so far there has only been 3. But this weekend I have a cousin getting married and I have another one getting married next weekend.
But, I am excited because for the first time ever- EVER, I have a date to a wedding. Jon is coming up to visit next weekend. Wow, that makes it seem so much sooner. Anyways I am pumped. I get to plan everything too which is really fun. As the girl, I never get that privlege and if you know me at all you know that I have a freakish delight in details and planning.

This last week Sonya Tracy and I also found an apartment. Sonya and I had to wrestle each other in the process but we came out unscathed. Basically we wanted a 3 bedroom with washer and dryer in it as well as one that was close to campus and not too far from Sonyas work (over by gateway) and had a largerish kitchen. Little did I know that when we started looking for these things we would not get all of them, so then how do you decide what's important? I still don't know. BUT Sonya and I found a home at Tracy's old apartment complex. Come visit next year.

I have an interactive question for you guys. Guys especially I would love your input. What do you think about guys who mention how pretty other women are around girls? Girls, what do you think? I am curious how opinions will differ.

reality of life right now

It is kinda nuts that I have posted so much recently but I have a lot of "free" time so to speak. It has been a nutty summer. Fundraising is in high gear and I am a lot further behind then I would like to be. Only 3% of my budget came in last week. As I told Jon on the phone tonight, "sometimes I am too much of a math major to have faith." It is hard to see how God is going to make this happen so I am trying to against all odds trust his infinite ability and ownership of all in the universe.

Also, Clayton came home on leave today. I found myself a mess of emotion. I almost cried thinking about him coming back. You don't realize how much you miss someone until you see them again sometimes. He told us some crazy stories and I am SO glad to see him. He will be home for 15 days.

It is raining like mad outside and I just realized that I forgot to call someone back. Oops! I better get on that.

Something witty

Have you ever had days when you really wanted to post something witty? Or when you just wanted to be funny for the sake of entertaining yourself? I am having such a day. But nothing comes to mind- sad.

In other news, fundraising is in full swing. The daily convulsions while dialing the phone and the many many conversations had with old friends and friends of the family. It has been an encourgaing season all in all. But I am a little behind where I was this time last year. Ick! Well, God is big enough to have it all come in over the course of a day if he wants. He also has a bigger story that he is writing than what happens for me over the next 2 months. I am trusting that!

"Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:
Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."
The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;
it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD." Lamentations 3:20-24

2 things

1. I made it onto Sonya's blog. Oh, my life is complete.

2. Today I have been a Christian for 8 years. I am so thankful for God's grace to me through Jesus. He certainly "sought me when I was a stranger wondering from the fold of God."

webcam

So I used a webcam for the first time today. It was really really fun. AND really exhausting. For anyone who knows me you know that I just can't multitask. Nope- I am terrible at it! Anyways, it was probably most exciting because of who I got to talk to.

(For those of you who are finding this out by reading my blog-sorry). I talked to this neat guy over webcam tonight. His name is Jon and we are dating. Let's see- What to tell you about Jon? He lives in Tennessee and he did EDGE last year. He and I went to East Asia together. He is really fun and Godly. Well that is all I will be girly on this medium.

So in conclusion: get a webcam if you want to date someone long distance. :)

twice in one week

Oh its that time of the year again. The time where the work in my life becomes so intangible that I find myself blogging more than once in a week. CRAZINESS!!! So this week has begun the fundraising process for me.

Today is my parents anniversary so I think that I may go out with them tonight. Only a few phone calls for me. I really need to get my letters out. It is also the time of the year to get nervous everytime I check the mailbox. You can certainly pray that I will have faith in God in this time. I have a weird mix of feelings- too many probably to explain here.

A couple days ago, I had something funny happen to me. Someone stopped me in the library (I know it is the homebase for the nerds in any city) and asked me if a 5 year old kid was mine. Wow, since when did I start to look 30? I think I may post some East Asia pictures for you all but not now. Maybe later. :)

She's ba-ack...

Oh to be the kind of friend who remembers birthdays, thinks of others needs before they do, draw people's hearts out without fear and loves when there is nothing in it for herself. These are the things I have been thinking about today. How do I love people that way? Why don't I come even close to this description most of the time? Things to ponder.

Welp I am back from Colorado. It was a really neat time. I throughly enjoyed my time out there. I am still super tired though.

Wow... I have next to nothing to say-maybe cause I am tired. I have some fun news but I think I am not going to post it here. I guess I could tell you a little about my reverse culture shock. I am still having difficulty adjusting to life in America. I am such a creature of habit. Random things are overwhelming and tiring to me. Life in general has been getting easier but there are still moments.

Today I spent the day organizing my room and hanging out with my grandma. We had some good conversation and I think she was blessed by it. So that was fun.

In other news, I feel so behind on life. It is an odd thing to catch up on realtionships, bills, etc after being out of the country for 5 weeks. This week will hold more organizing, doing lots of paperwork for my employers and beginning fundraising. I am actually starting to get excited for fundraising (remind me of this later in the summer). I can't wait to meet up with some of my supporters and rejoice over what God did at KSU this year and invite others to support the work at UNL. Well thanks for reading that is all for today.

Training and commissioning

I leave for EDGE training tommorrow. I am getting excited to see everyone there and to meet the new EDGErs. I am also a little nervous because there are 63 new edgers. Talk about a lot of people to meet and talk to. I probably need to chill. Don't need to be everything to everyone. But I definitely have a lot to be excited about at this summit.

In other news, my church is talking about commissioning me. Woo hoo! This will give me a fat tax break!:) Yay for funding that doesn't make me want to throw up.

back in america

Hey friends-

I wanted to write and let ya'll know that I am back in America. East Asia was an amazing, life-changing experience. I saw so many new things and experienced so many new aspects of God. It was just amazing.

I would love to fill all of you in on all of the details but for brevity (and interest) sake I will only tell a couple of stories here.

The first is just about me. I was really convicted about my own sinfulness in not being burdened for the whole world previous to this experience. I can sense in me a very American centered view of God and the gospel. It totally changed my perspective and heart to see that God loves the whole world and that there are lots of people in the rest of the world for him to love and draw to himself.

I also wanted to tell you guys about a friend I met. Her name is Tao and I got to spend a fair amount of time with her. She is an incredibly smart teacher at a big university in Asia. She has a ton of questions and she has been reading the bible with some people for about 5 years now. She struggles so much with belief- the simple aspect of trusting something she cannot see. She struggles with family and the divorce rate in america and with the bible's teaching on loving God more than success. She wants to believe but is having such a difficult time. I got to have a couple conversations with her about the issues of family, faith and dating relationships. She is so precious and it broke my heart to meet so many like her who have such a hard time with faith and to see how their environment has affected that.

It seems very small to sum up such an adventure like that but I will for readers sake. In other news I fear that I will never forget Asia because I will never sleep on a normal time schedule again! :) I also leave for EDGE training on Friday.

Please think about me

Hey friends- I wanted to post some more specific things that you could be thinking about me on while I am gone:

1) My grandpa will probably die while I am gone. Please think about my family and me and keep that in mind.

2) I am sick.

3) Against fear and just for all the culture adjustments

4) My tummy. I have a weak stomach and can be a picky eater.

5) Funding for next year.

I will miss you guys a ton!

nerd test

I am getting more nerdier each time I take the test. The first time, I got a 16. I am not sure if I am just facing facts or if I wanted to be nerdier.

the quick run-down

Hey friends-

I am officially overwhelmed. Yep- it's true. I am leaving the country May 7 and have 1 and a half weeks left at KSU then I am done with EDGE here. For anyone who hasn't heard, I am going to be on staff at UNL next year. Woo hoo! There are a lot of details that need to get worked out before I leave. Moving is a lot as well as leaving the country for a little over a month.
Mer just reminded me today that I need to pay my cell phone bill while I am out of the country. Crazy things to think about. I kind of like it though because I have a freakish enjoyment of structure and administration!

As for how I am doing, i think I am doing well otherwise. The end of the year has been fun but it is going to be sad to leave Manhattan. I have made some neat friends and had an amazing year of ministry. This place definitely goes on my map as a place that I have seen God's faithfulness.

My family is not so good. My grandpa is still very sick. He has had 3 TIAs since the last. Pray for me that I may have an opportunity to share with him and that he won't die before Clay gets to come home on leave this summer. Clay seems to be doing alright in Iraq but his wife is having a hard time. My parents are also having a hard time with my grandpa being sick. So sad news there. Sorry.

Well that is about all I've got. The highlight of the last month has probably been the group date my FC study got asked on by Ben D's study. We went to a Royals game in KC and they cooked breakfast for us in the morning (Ben's study that is NOT the Royals). We also played ultimate frisbee at midnight in the Plaza. It was rocking awesome!

That is all I have for now. I may not post again until after my trip this summer.

Congratulations to those graduating: Jake, Cora, Phil and Sonya!

Grandpa Update

My 87 year old grandpa had a stroke yesterday. He couldn't speak yesterday and was really out of it. From what my parents tell me, he is better today a bit. I think I am going to go down there to see them this afternoon. I am doing alright but I still fear for his soul and my mom is pretty upset. So that is the news.

Update: I went to Lincoln and it was difficult. I did get to mention Christ and salvation to my Grandpa but the stroke (or TIA) that he had yesterday has severely impaired his mental faculties. I am doing alright though all things considered. :)

Spring Break Update

Hey all! Spring break has been good so far but somehow I slipped into being stressed out. I do have some things that NEED to get done this week that have not and I don't see when they are going to unless I cancel some of my social engagements. These things include: taxes, 1 Peter Bible study for Monday and memorizing 1 Peter 2. I also have some things to do for East Asia: Prepare my visa application, get shots. It stresses me out to even think about these things.

Thanks for listening. :)

title of my blog and next years decision

If you have any idea of what to call my blog let me know. Maybe I think too much but I thought it better to define myself, my blog by who I am and who I know and not what I do.

UMM... also I have decided what I am going to do next year for the most part. If you want to know soon call me or email me.

Spring Break

I am on Spring Break! woo hoo! I am really excited to be at home with my family and some friends. Last night, I went up to Lincoln and went dancing with Ray, Dana, Nancy (From KSU), Jake, Nkem, and Amy Hatcher. It was a blast! I also ran into a lot of old friends from Burr. Nancy commented that I seem to know everyone. She referred to me as the Mandy Call of Nebraska. What a compliment. It did make me think though- it was fun (and a little overwhelming) to be in a place where I did know a lot of people. I also realized how quickly I forget names- eek!

Spring Break will hold a lot of fun things and a few that are stressful. First of all, I have already seen Taylor, Evie, Sonya, Whitney,the above mentioned and my family -- these are fun. I will continue to see Evie, Taylor, Whitney (my new sister), Molly, my family and Jill (Woo hoo-its been too long). On the stressful side, I really need to meet with some people about what I may do with my life next year and do my taxes. One event that will probably be both emotions is seeing my dying grandpa. I really want to share Jesus with them. My grandpa is FULL of questions so pray for me that God may open a door and that he may soften Grandpa Paul's heart to the gospel.

I also have a few administrative things to do (admin= taxes, memorizing 1 Peter, and doing 1 Peter Bible stuy).

In other news, I am excited to be home but I am having a hard time "detoxing" from the stress of school. I find the girls on my heart a lot and I find myself feeling guilty when I have nothing to do or no one to see - BUT it is really good to settle down. I feel refreshed already.

no title

I wanted to write and tell yall hi! I had a great weekend last weekend. I went to a retreat with my church here and that was probably the first time I have felt any significant sense of belonging to a community since I have moved here. It was an encouraging time.

In personal news, I have not officially made a decision about EDGE corps for next year yet. Please pray for me. I have no idea what I want to do. I change my mind daily.

Spring break is next week and I am excited to have some time off!

life

I really just want to post today about life. The things that are normal and just plain everyday. This week was very good. I enjoyed "work" and God very much. We had an awesome speaker at the Key Laborers Retreat last weekend. His name is Paul Washer and the Lord used him in some awesome ways in my life. I have been thinking a lot about waht it looks like to boast in my weaknesses and thus put the focus on God. Good stuff. I like to have it all together and be the best at everything.

Alright enough of the deep. I am presently at Java (actually the name is now Bluestem Bistro and it is a coffee shop in Aggieville -the bar section of Manhattan) feeling like a college student all over again. I am posting on the blog to avoid doing Bible study because it feels too much like work. I am excited to spend time with God but not to do anything responsible. Do you ever have moments like that? It is very prevalent when you only have one day off a week. How will I ever handle it when I have two days off? I will probably feel like I have all the time in the world!

I am planning on going to the Dollar Tree and buying some cheap lip gloss followed by washing my car. It is a beautiful day but not because I am going to the dollar store (although I think it is my favorite place to shop). But presently I am chilling at Java with Jesus and Emily O (a friend from high school- woo hoo!).

Tommorrow a friend is coming up this Sunday. I am excited!

Yesterday I had staff meeting. Afterwards I had plans to go out to lunch with Brandi. She called and cancelled which I really was alright with. Well all of the sudden I had free time- AMAZING! What ever will I do with myself? Get this: I decided to go get my shots for East Asia this summer. I figured it would be easier to just suck it up and go instead of having to worry about it for days before I go. It was a ridiculously stressful drive over there. My pulse quickened and I had to convince myself that I should not be acting as scared as I was. Honestly, shots don't scare me so much or at least they didn't used to. I think somehow I have picked up other people's phobia. Anyway, I got over to the health center and found out that they close at 12 on fridays. Junk! So I drove home (a bit relieved might I add). Then I cleaned the bathroom, spent time with Jesus, did accountability with Evie and left to hang out with the staff.

The staff went to Chiptle (read Chip ot el- I say it funny). Afterwards we played Taboo. It was funny to watch Joel lose (but sad too because he was on my team) because he is really competitive. And finally we watched Napoleon Dynamite. That was really fun. We have really become friends.

Well that is about all I can piece together for ya. Hope you enjoyed it!

dream come true #73

Today was SO awesome. Yes, judging by the timestamp you can tell that it must have been awesome for me to still be awake (or I am in college ministry and drank coffee at 11 tonight). Basically one of my wildest dreams for a girl that I have become friends with came true tonight.

I have formed a friendship with this girl in Ford and have shared my testimony with her before and then proceeded to hang out with her every couple of weeks. I have asked her to come to Bible discussion, given her More than a Carpenter and asked her to read the Bible with me individually and been shot down- over and over again. Well, this week I went out with her for coffee as usual and I was RESOLVED that if I couldn't get her involved in anything I would personally share the gospel with her. I prayed and tried and didn't quite get there. In a moment of exasperation I invited her to Navs saying that as my friend I wanted her to see what I did as a job. Amazingly enough she agreed and she came. Now this may not sound very miraculous to you, but they are things that DO NOT happen in my life - people saying yes and people actually coming to functions with me that aren't Christians.

Well not only did she come but she thought about Jesus HARD and decided that she isn't a Christian after all. Hmmm that's news! ;) (READ lots of sarcasm into that). Then, after Navs she went to the coffee shop with me and I asked her if she had ever wrestled with the idea of having a personal relationship with God (the speaker at Navs set us up great for this question) and she said I guess not and then I asked her if she knew how to have a personal relationship with God? To this she also said no. Enter: Bridge illustration.

We spent the next 45 minutes going over the one-verse bridge and the wheels were definitely turning. She didn't bow and accept Christ but she said that she wanted to in the future. Interesting response. Please pray for her and thank God for his faithfulness to work in the lives of the girls I know and love here!

Woo hoo!

busyness and my soul

Hey friends. This week has been pretty good. I have been TOO busy though. I definitely adopted the idea that since I missed so much time here while saying goodbye to Clayton that I needed to meet with as many students as possible to make up for it. That was TERRIBLE logic. I have not been sleeping enough and have just plain been behind. I have even gotten to the point where I have a hard time doing quiet times without hurrying to the next thing. Next week will have to be slower.

I will leave you with a thought from Kathy Hatfield that stuck with me majorly: We need to not always be busy because it is in the stillness and quietness that God speaks. We need that to hear God's voice! True story. I will take your advise soon Kathy!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Hey all! Happy Valentine's Day! how was your day?

Mine was actually very good. I am often pretty lonely in Manhattan but today was no such day. God definitely blessed me in that area. I really learned about the verse that talks about it being more blessed to give than receive (Acts 20). It really is.

I am back in Manhattan now. Yay!

Lots on my mind

As the title of this post implies... I have a lot on my mind.

My 20 year old brother got married today. Yep married and in two days he leaves the country for a year or more. I have so many emotions that I don't know how to begin to actually emote about the whole process.

There are so many other external and internal factors going on right now too. I would love to tell you about them but I just don't have the energy. Maybe because its Midnight or maybe because one can only have a certain amount of stress before they want to shut down. Most likely- it is the second. I also wonder if it would help. Would it benefit me to expatiate all the things that are running around inside my heart and mind? Would it benefit you to read about it? Would it honor God? I don't know the answer to any of those questions. Suffice to say: I have a lot on my mind.

I do leave you with a thought on God: I need Him SO much and I think that life's most dear theology is formed in tough times. So in this I find refuge from the present troubles! :)

My new favorite song is by Mark schultz and is always on the radio when I wake up (yay!):

I call, You hear me.
I’ve lost it all.
And it’s more than I can bear.
I feel so empty.
You’re strong.
I’m weary.
I’m holdin’ on
But I feel like givin’ in
But still You’re with me

Chorus:And even though I’m walkin’ through
The valley of the shadow
I will hold tight to the hand of Him
Whose love will comfort me
And when all hope is gone
And I’ve been wounded in the battle
He is all the strength that I will ever need
He will carry me

I know I’m broken
But You alone
Can mend this heart of mine
You’re always with me
Chorus:

And even though I feel so lonely
Like I’ve never been before
You never said it would be easy
But You said you’d see me through The storm

Pretty song. I'm out!

the big O

Well friends... Guess who is in Omaha? Guess where it is snowing profusely (It is really pretty)? Guess who is less than responsible and has only 30 daytime cell phone minutes left for the next 10 days (oops)? Guess who was woken up yesterday by an invitation to go to a friend from high school's fathers funeral? Guess how sad that was combined with thinking about my brother leaving (after some prayer and time with good friends she recovered alright)?

Well that is the update on my life. All in all I am in good spirits but some cirumstances are challenging! God certainly has and is giving me all I need for this these circumstances.

sick car and my brother

So, my car is sick. yep, that's right. The "low coolant" light was coming on when I went up steep hills but I had done a good job ignoring it for a while. finally, Meredith and I were going to take a trip to a nearby town to get our passports and I decided it was time to double check the coolant level. Well, it was a little low SO I thought no problem I'll put more in. As I poured coolant in, it poured out onto my host family's driveway. ICK! There was a huge puddle of orange antifreeze under my car and that was a little disturbing. I decided to do what any red-blooded american girl would do, I called my parents. They said I should take it in.

I did take it in. There were 2 coolant leaks. One in the water pump and the other in the intake gasket. Also the serpentine belt is cracked. That is an expensive bill. Yeah. No good. But my parents are going to pay for it. They are SO generous.

In other news, I am going to Omaha this weekend and much of next week and the following weekend to see Clay before he leaves. The reality is starting to hit me that he will be gone for a year.

Well that is quick update. :)

something smells fishy

So, this week the house I live in began to have a subtle undertone of raw sewage smell. You would walk in the door and be accosted by this nastiness but after a while it would go away. We considered the possiblility that we were just losing our minds or that we really were in some grave danger. Waited a couple days and decided to call a plumber. We did and all that we needed to do was pour some water down a drain in the basement. That reminds me of good old Kauffman. If you lived there, you know what I am talking about.

In other news, I had a good night in the dorms tonight. I got to bond with some friends. I am a big fat whoos (is that how you spell that?) with the gospel sometimes but it was still good. Although, I really don't think the Lord opened a door. Oh to listen to him better so as to know.

Welp... I am going to Lincoln this weekend. It should be a good time.

AND my cat in Omaha had kittens tonight. Both of my parents called. They are so cute (my parents that is).

A dream come true #72

I wanted to write and let you all know that on my trip to Colorado with my staff team one of my life long dreams came true. We picked up a hitch hiker. Actually, 2. I have always wanted to do this and then to talk to them about the Lord and guess what- we did! woo hoo!

On a more serious note, it was 51 degrees in the "little apple" today. And I talked to Ray on the phone. We hadn't talked for many months so it was a fun surprise and good to catch up with him. Those two things made the day very good.

But I am sick. So Meredith and I didn't work out this morning and I left the dorms kinda early this evening.

Well that is all of the lighter stuff in my life. Enjoy!

Missing the mountains

I got back from CO last night. And man was it a sweet time. It is SO good to have fellowship with other people who are following Jesus in a similar fashion to you. They are all on college campuses fighting for the lost and it was really encouraging. God also really answered a lot of prayers that I have been praying for a long time. Praise him!

In other news, I start back on campus tommorrow. Joel and Jen (we have definitley referred to them as J-Lo before) were really gracious and let us have today off. I slept in, balanced my checkbook, did laundry, hung out with Jesus and talked to a friend and emailed a few too. It was sweet!

I am presently amazed at the conversation that I just had with my friend. Her name is Emily and she is a friend from high school who just happens to go to school this year at K-State and just happened to become a Christian since college. We had some sweet fellowship and conversation about how God allows times where he is strangely silent to teach us about himself (read that my first semester at K-State in lots of different ways). Anyway, I am so thankful for her friendship and feel very loved by God in that.

In other news, my brother is getting deployed again. Please pray for him and me and my family. I know that God has a loving heart towards us in this. Pray for confidence in this.
Well, thats about it folks. I think I am going to bed!

Back to my third home

Or... you could call Manhattan my first home depending upon how you look at it. Well, as my title eludes I am heading back to K-State tommorrow afternoon. Evie is going to come over and say goodbye and then I am going to meet up with Tracy in Lincoln and get back to Manhattan so I can leave for EDGE summit the following day. It will be a whirlwind.

As my time in Omaha comes to a close, I am getting sad. It was so nice to have time that was just me and God. It was a sweet time to connect with my family. I have had some great times and conversations with them. It was so good to have silence and friends. That is probably one of the more difficult things about Manhattan. I often stay home on Friday or Saturday nights or do ministry. I miss having peers and fellowship a lot. And this may sound a little dramatic to you but at times I feel like when I go to Manhattan I go to the place where God is my only friend.

But the ministry calls. Maybe more importantly God has called and I am excited to answer that call. I do miss the women that I am friends with at K-State a lot and I can't wait to get back to helping them grow in their faith and to see how God is going to unfold his story in their lives and mine this semester. But there is still a small sense of letting go as I leave. Next time I come home Evie may or may not be here anymore and my brother will be that much closer to getting married.

OH- did I tell you- my brother is engaged?!!! And he went to church with his fiance today. Good stuff.

Life changes so fast.

I wanted to go ahead and give you a little summary of what God has been teaching this break. Well to begin it has been a lot. I spent the first week of break being really LAZY and I feel pretty convicted that it was not the right attitude. But that whole experience really helped me to think through why I felt like a puddle on the floor that someone needed to mop up. I decided that I need to have margin time in my schedule. I need to make time for good fellowship and for extended personal time with the Lord. The fast paced schedule I kept most of the last month took a toll on me emotionally, physically and spiritually. I really need to prioritize my walk with God as first so that no matter what happens NOTHING comes between me and my Jesus.

That was week 1. Week 2 found me working on a lot of bitterness and unforgiveness that had developed over the semester. No matter what has transpired (or not transpired) between me and other people I need to let go of the debt I feel they owe me as Christ has completely removed my debt from me. I also really got a chance to reflect on the semester and left really praising God for his provision and for how he has worked in my life.

I am starting to like taking risks for Christ and I almost feel complacent to live the way I did before. I have a heart to reach out wherever I am and make a radical identification with Jesus.
The risk-taking thing is definitely new and definitely only from God.

I have also been seeking to have my identity rooted very firmily in Christ. All of these feelings about wanting friends has made wonder how God speaks into this sense of loneliness and isolation. I can call verses to mind about his love and nearness but I am praying for it to change my emotions and my trust in God that he loves me and that His love is enough. I am a slow girl in this area.

There have been some good conversations this break also about the minutae of the theology that I believe and live from so I have been thinking through my beliefs too. And it has been good.

Well, that is my novel. That is my life. I hope that it encourages you in some small way to know Jesus better.

2 things

1) Sorry about the long post. I wonder if anyone actually reads posts that are that long?

2) You should read Rachael's post on the one who loves me. It made me tear for sure. (To see it click on the Rachael link on the side of my blog and search for that entry).