Update

I admit my last post was strange and short. I took that test and it was alright. Nothing special but if I am going to spend my time on it than man I might as well let you know about it.:)

I went to Lincoln today and enjoyed the love and fellowship of dear friends. What a blessing it is to be with people who know me and love me and love and have so obviously been with Jesus. It is SO neat.

On another note, I want to spew what is going on inside of me onto this post but I am not sure that I can. A lot of it is a raging battle against worry. 10 days until the goal campus date. Wow. I can do the math and realize that all I need is 36 people to give 25 dollars a month or 18 to give 50 and that makes it seem much much closer but honestly looking at the numbers today was a bit depressing. I have gotten less than 10% this week.

The rest is a general disillusionment with our society. How I long to be with Christ. I am really disappointed with people's follow through. And a little disillusioned that people don't seemingly believe in the gospel going out this way more than they are showing. Maybe I am taking the fact that people do not return my phone calls and that rarely anyone gives without more than one phone call and a personal visit from me way to seriously. But I think that says something. It says something about our hearts, our lives, our attitudes towards giving. And honestly it says something disheartening. And not just because it is my life. But because this is God's business of getting the gospel out and I know 38 people who are willing to give their lives (they are ALL college educated) to make sure that it gets out and they may not be the most effective (they may not get to campus in time for training and meeting new people) because people won't give. No plan of God's can be thwarted but I think that people have sinned in not giving (not everyone) and if we had a more generous, sacrificial attitude that we would all be funded.Honestly, this is more about the others than about myself. I am relatively encouraged, not there and need to be soon, but encouraged. It is really sad.

Does my rant make sense? I may write more when I have processed more.:)