It is wedding season. No denying it. It is. Although, this is one of the first summers that I have not have numerous friends getting married. I think that so far there has only been 3. But this weekend I have a cousin getting married and I have another one getting married next weekend.
But, I am excited because for the first time ever- EVER, I have a date to a wedding. Jon is coming up to visit next weekend. Wow, that makes it seem so much sooner. Anyways I am pumped. I get to plan everything too which is really fun. As the girl, I never get that privlege and if you know me at all you know that I have a freakish delight in details and planning.
But, I am excited because for the first time ever- EVER, I have a date to a wedding. Jon is coming up to visit next weekend. Wow, that makes it seem so much sooner. Anyways I am pumped. I get to plan everything too which is really fun. As the girl, I never get that privlege and if you know me at all you know that I have a freakish delight in details and planning.
This last week Sonya Tracy and I also found an apartment. Sonya and I had to wrestle each other in the process but we came out unscathed. Basically we wanted a 3 bedroom with washer and dryer in it as well as one that was close to campus and not too far from Sonyas work (over by gateway) and had a largerish kitchen. Little did I know that when we started looking for these things we would not get all of them, so then how do you decide what's important? I still don't know. BUT Sonya and I found a home at Tracy's old apartment complex. Come visit next year.
I have an interactive question for you guys. Guys especially I would love your input. What do you think about guys who mention how pretty other women are around girls? Girls, what do you think? I am curious how opinions will differ.
3 comments:
Glad that you get to see your bro for a few days. I don't think it's a big deal for guys to mention how other women look as long as they also mention how pretty you are when you....
Eh, that's an odd thing, isn't it? It depends which type of guys I'm around, but even a lot of the married/engaged/dating guys I know will talk about other women being good-looking or attractive. Some of 'em will even do it around their girlfriend. It seems like a lot of women have settled with the notion that the men in their lives will continue to notice other beauty/hotness.
I personally would not discuss another woman's beauty other than in a purely platonic sense when I'm around my significant other, and most likely I wouldn't feel comfortable doing it when I'm not around her. Show a little bit of respect for your gal -- that's what I say. If she's hot enough for a guy's tastes to date and marry, then she's hot enough to focus on exclusively and ignore all the other broads.
Or at least it would be nice if it was that way.
Oddly enough, this is a topic that I've given some thought to (well, maybe not that odd, as those that know me well know that I think about lots of things...) - although I probably was thinking in a broader context than the one you brought up in your post - namely, if, when, how, and why should one comment positively on the physical appearance of other people.
There would seem to be two main variables to this one: (1) what you say to the person in question vs. what you about the person in question to others and (2) whether the comments are public or private.
In the past, I just avoided the issue by being extremely conservative and just not talking about how people look - at least not very often.
More recently, I have discerned that there is a place to speak well (or ill) of others in this sphere as in all others. It falls into the more general categories of communication, encouragement, edification, praise, correction, and of course, taming the tongue.
What needs to be brought to mind about what I say is:
Is what I am saying true?
Is it loving and pure?
Is it hurtful or "gossipy"?
What effect will it have on me as a speaker and on those who hear as listeners?
Is it a God-honoring thing to say?
Does the good in saying it outweight the potential harm?
I think this framework works well in evaluating speech in general, but maybe it doesn't shed so much light on the specific topic in question.
In reference to the narrower issue, I find that I have moved toward commenting more to people about how they look, and less to others about how people look, but I do think that there is a place for both.
In inter-gender situations there are additional pitfalls, but these can be lessened if the context of the relationships involved have already been clarified through clear communication, and if the motive and purpose of the comments is made clear.
Lastly, when in question, its better to remain silent, as one can almost always say later what was not said before, but one cannot unsay what should not have been said.
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