Back to my third home

Or... you could call Manhattan my first home depending upon how you look at it. Well, as my title eludes I am heading back to K-State tommorrow afternoon. Evie is going to come over and say goodbye and then I am going to meet up with Tracy in Lincoln and get back to Manhattan so I can leave for EDGE summit the following day. It will be a whirlwind.

As my time in Omaha comes to a close, I am getting sad. It was so nice to have time that was just me and God. It was a sweet time to connect with my family. I have had some great times and conversations with them. It was so good to have silence and friends. That is probably one of the more difficult things about Manhattan. I often stay home on Friday or Saturday nights or do ministry. I miss having peers and fellowship a lot. And this may sound a little dramatic to you but at times I feel like when I go to Manhattan I go to the place where God is my only friend.

But the ministry calls. Maybe more importantly God has called and I am excited to answer that call. I do miss the women that I am friends with at K-State a lot and I can't wait to get back to helping them grow in their faith and to see how God is going to unfold his story in their lives and mine this semester. But there is still a small sense of letting go as I leave. Next time I come home Evie may or may not be here anymore and my brother will be that much closer to getting married.

OH- did I tell you- my brother is engaged?!!! And he went to church with his fiance today. Good stuff.

Life changes so fast.

I wanted to go ahead and give you a little summary of what God has been teaching this break. Well to begin it has been a lot. I spent the first week of break being really LAZY and I feel pretty convicted that it was not the right attitude. But that whole experience really helped me to think through why I felt like a puddle on the floor that someone needed to mop up. I decided that I need to have margin time in my schedule. I need to make time for good fellowship and for extended personal time with the Lord. The fast paced schedule I kept most of the last month took a toll on me emotionally, physically and spiritually. I really need to prioritize my walk with God as first so that no matter what happens NOTHING comes between me and my Jesus.

That was week 1. Week 2 found me working on a lot of bitterness and unforgiveness that had developed over the semester. No matter what has transpired (or not transpired) between me and other people I need to let go of the debt I feel they owe me as Christ has completely removed my debt from me. I also really got a chance to reflect on the semester and left really praising God for his provision and for how he has worked in my life.

I am starting to like taking risks for Christ and I almost feel complacent to live the way I did before. I have a heart to reach out wherever I am and make a radical identification with Jesus.
The risk-taking thing is definitely new and definitely only from God.

I have also been seeking to have my identity rooted very firmily in Christ. All of these feelings about wanting friends has made wonder how God speaks into this sense of loneliness and isolation. I can call verses to mind about his love and nearness but I am praying for it to change my emotions and my trust in God that he loves me and that His love is enough. I am a slow girl in this area.

There have been some good conversations this break also about the minutae of the theology that I believe and live from so I have been thinking through my beliefs too. And it has been good.

Well, that is my novel. That is my life. I hope that it encourages you in some small way to know Jesus better.