Or... you could call Manhattan my first home depending upon how you look at it. Well, as my title eludes I am heading back to K-State tommorrow afternoon. Evie is going to come over and say goodbye and then I am going to meet up with Tracy in Lincoln and get back to Manhattan so I can leave for EDGE summit the following day. It will be a whirlwind.
As my time in Omaha comes to a close, I am getting sad. It was so nice to have time that was just me and God. It was a sweet time to connect with my family. I have had some great times and conversations with them. It was so good to have silence and friends. That is probably one of the more difficult things about Manhattan. I often stay home on Friday or Saturday nights or do ministry. I miss having peers and fellowship a lot. And this may sound a little dramatic to you but at times I feel like when I go to Manhattan I go to the place where God is my only friend.
But the ministry calls. Maybe more importantly God has called and I am excited to answer that call. I do miss the women that I am friends with at K-State a lot and I can't wait to get back to helping them grow in their faith and to see how God is going to unfold his story in their lives and mine this semester. But there is still a small sense of letting go as I leave. Next time I come home Evie may or may not be here anymore and my brother will be that much closer to getting married.
OH- did I tell you- my brother is engaged?!!! And he went to church with his fiance today. Good stuff.
Life changes so fast.
I wanted to go ahead and give you a little summary of what God has been teaching this break. Well to begin it has been a lot. I spent the first week of break being really LAZY and I feel pretty convicted that it was not the right attitude. But that whole experience really helped me to think through why I felt like a puddle on the floor that someone needed to mop up. I decided that I need to have margin time in my schedule. I need to make time for good fellowship and for extended personal time with the Lord. The fast paced schedule I kept most of the last month took a toll on me emotionally, physically and spiritually. I really need to prioritize my walk with God as first so that no matter what happens NOTHING comes between me and my Jesus.
That was week 1. Week 2 found me working on a lot of bitterness and unforgiveness that had developed over the semester. No matter what has transpired (or not transpired) between me and other people I need to let go of the debt I feel they owe me as Christ has completely removed my debt from me. I also really got a chance to reflect on the semester and left really praising God for his provision and for how he has worked in my life.
I am starting to like taking risks for Christ and I almost feel complacent to live the way I did before. I have a heart to reach out wherever I am and make a radical identification with Jesus.
The risk-taking thing is definitely new and definitely only from God.
I have also been seeking to have my identity rooted very firmily in Christ. All of these feelings about wanting friends has made wonder how God speaks into this sense of loneliness and isolation. I can call verses to mind about his love and nearness but I am praying for it to change my emotions and my trust in God that he loves me and that His love is enough. I am a slow girl in this area.
There have been some good conversations this break also about the minutae of the theology that I believe and live from so I have been thinking through my beliefs too. And it has been good.
Well, that is my novel. That is my life. I hope that it encourages you in some small way to know Jesus better.
Sunday, January 02, 2005
2 things
1) Sorry about the long post. I wonder if anyone actually reads posts that are that long?
2) You should read Rachael's post on the one who loves me. It made me tear for sure. (To see it click on the Rachael link on the side of my blog and search for that entry).
2) You should read Rachael's post on the one who loves me. It made me tear for sure. (To see it click on the Rachael link on the side of my blog and search for that entry).
Monday, December 27, 2004
Fun on a Monday
Hey guys,
Today is going to be a fun day. Actually, it already has been a fun day. I went out to lunch with a friend from back in the day who is going to be a youth pastor soon. It was so neat to have someone to identify with in ministry and life struggles. And in general we just had fun. Good times with good friends.
Tonight I am hanging out with some friends with Evie and Taylor. I am also excited for that.
This break I have definitely spent a lot of time at home or by myself. BUT I have really enjoyed that. Sometimes it gets real overwhelming to spend time with people all day even though I really like the people I spend time with. I actually think that I might be ready to go back.
Also this break, I have been thinking about many things. Many of my core beliefs and I don't
have the patience to type about them but maybe sometime before break is over I will. :)
Happy Monday!
Today is going to be a fun day. Actually, it already has been a fun day. I went out to lunch with a friend from back in the day who is going to be a youth pastor soon. It was so neat to have someone to identify with in ministry and life struggles. And in general we just had fun. Good times with good friends.
Tonight I am hanging out with some friends with Evie and Taylor. I am also excited for that.
This break I have definitely spent a lot of time at home or by myself. BUT I have really enjoyed that. Sometimes it gets real overwhelming to spend time with people all day even though I really like the people I spend time with. I actually think that I might be ready to go back.
Also this break, I have been thinking about many things. Many of my core beliefs and I don't
have the patience to type about them but maybe sometime before break is over I will. :)
Happy Monday!
Friday, December 24, 2004
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christ mas everyone! I hope that it is filled with the love of Christ and honoring Him!
One idea I had in this department was to give Jesus a present like I would anybody else. (The Christian radio station suggested it). They suggested that we write out what we would give Jesus on a piece of paper and wrap it in a box. It is an interesting idea. You can't take it too far theologically but for what it is- it is sweet! :)
I hope you have a good time!
One idea I had in this department was to give Jesus a present like I would anybody else. (The Christian radio station suggested it). They suggested that we write out what we would give Jesus on a piece of paper and wrap it in a box. It is an interesting idea. You can't take it too far theologically but for what it is- it is sweet! :)
I hope you have a good time!
Thursday, December 23, 2004
Omaha teacher fired for talking about God in his classroom
Hey guys,
I thought that this article was really great. It kind of makes me want to yak though. What do you think?
Story Printer
I thought that this article was really great. It kind of makes me want to yak though. What do you think?
Story Printer
Monday, December 20, 2004
Home again
I just got home a couple of days ago (my original home that is- so number 1 of 3). I realized that it has been a long time since I blogged and I wanted to update those who used to be faithful readers.
The semester ended pretty well. I had some time to do some reflecting finals week and I realized that God has done a LOT in me and through me this semester. It really is a blessing and a priviledge to serve K-State Navs and ultimately Jesus on EDGE. I am encouraged to report that I spend time weekly with 2 new believers (1 next semester), 3 or so believers from my FC study or different upperclassman in the ministry, and 2 non-believers. I lead a FC Bible study and an IBD. AND I remember wondering if God would really give me things to fill my 40-60 hrs a week with. Well he certainly has and I certainly don't deserve it. I am pretty amazed. Beyond mere numbers though I am really excited about what God is doing in these people's lives. I have learned a lot about my place in ministry and being persistent to love non-believers. I am so thankful for the heart God has given me to serve Him and die to myself (although I definitely still fight it at times).
I wanted to share with you the biggest thing I have learned: it is in relation to non-believers. It is hard to spend time with non-believers. It takes looking past your own wants and even needs. It takes giving all of those things to Jesus. Non-believers are often rough and not the most loving or greatest friends that you will ever have. So I really think it takes intentionality to hang out with non-believers. At least for my personality type it does not come naturally. I like to hang out with people who make me feel good so I naturally spend my time with them. Well, non-believers are not always that way. SO, for me it takes intentionally dialouging with non-believers and pursuing spending time with them and having those awkward conversations. Also when it comes to hanging out with the lost, Ben D (my EDGE teammate) made a good observation. He said that the only thing that keeps any random person from being someone I would call a friend, is that we don't know each other. I know that sounds really elementary but think about it. Most people will be your friend if you just know them on any level (their name, recognize them, etc.). So, a lot of times to make friends with non-believers it means taking the initiative to know people I don't know. Hmmm... so simple yet so profound and SO hard to continually do.
Well,that is what I have been learning about ministry. Personally I have also been learning a lot but I am still processing exactly how to articulate that. Feel free to ask me if you see me. Also the lines between ministry and personal are very blurry perhaps indistinguishable and maybe they should be. Hmm... things to think about.
I am excited for break. I stayed in Manhattan until Friday night to go to my host brothers rehearsal dinner. It was such a privlidge to be a part of that night and for one of the first times in Manhattan I felt like I truly belonged there. Also, Friday night I went up to Lincoln and hung with tons of friends at Tracy's graduation party. It was really fun to see everyone; I didn't realize how much I missed all of them. It was weird to feel like the friend from out of town though. A lot has changed and at times I didn't know who the people they were discussing were or what the circumstances that came up were about. Crazy. It is also nuts that Tracy and Rachael are graduating. I want to throw a fit and tell people to stop moving away but that probably isn't very mature (or God-honoring) especially since I started the trend. Doesn't change the desire at times though. :)
I went to Amy Patras's wedding on Saturday afternoon. Again that was a good time to catch up with friends. I saw Jill and Rob's new house (in between the rehearsal and the reception) and got to talk to John and Kathy. It was sweet and soul refreshing on both accounts. Their shared experiences really encouraged me. Also the wedding was amazing. Amy and Jared said and demonstrated that their lives and marriage and wedding are not about them over and over again. I left giving glory to God and just excited for them. After the wedding, I hung with Sonya (It was very good to see her. Talking to her made me really sad that we didn't get to do it more though. As did most of my time in Lincoln) and then went back home.
Since getting back home, I have been spending good time with my parents and hopefully I will get the chance to catch up with friends too. A lot of people have said that they want to see me but I have actual plans with few. I talked to one of my FC girls on the phone last night and plan on calling a few others over break. It is always neat to see that ministry isn't just something that happens at K-State because it needs to but something that I really believe in and enjoy.
I hope that no matter where I am and whatever I do that I live my life to make God look good (as He is).
Well that is the marathon post that you have all been waiting for. I will try to update ya'll again soon (maybe even before break is over).
The semester ended pretty well. I had some time to do some reflecting finals week and I realized that God has done a LOT in me and through me this semester. It really is a blessing and a priviledge to serve K-State Navs and ultimately Jesus on EDGE. I am encouraged to report that I spend time weekly with 2 new believers (1 next semester), 3 or so believers from my FC study or different upperclassman in the ministry, and 2 non-believers. I lead a FC Bible study and an IBD. AND I remember wondering if God would really give me things to fill my 40-60 hrs a week with. Well he certainly has and I certainly don't deserve it. I am pretty amazed. Beyond mere numbers though I am really excited about what God is doing in these people's lives. I have learned a lot about my place in ministry and being persistent to love non-believers. I am so thankful for the heart God has given me to serve Him and die to myself (although I definitely still fight it at times).
I wanted to share with you the biggest thing I have learned: it is in relation to non-believers. It is hard to spend time with non-believers. It takes looking past your own wants and even needs. It takes giving all of those things to Jesus. Non-believers are often rough and not the most loving or greatest friends that you will ever have. So I really think it takes intentionality to hang out with non-believers. At least for my personality type it does not come naturally. I like to hang out with people who make me feel good so I naturally spend my time with them. Well, non-believers are not always that way. SO, for me it takes intentionally dialouging with non-believers and pursuing spending time with them and having those awkward conversations. Also when it comes to hanging out with the lost, Ben D (my EDGE teammate) made a good observation. He said that the only thing that keeps any random person from being someone I would call a friend, is that we don't know each other. I know that sounds really elementary but think about it. Most people will be your friend if you just know them on any level (their name, recognize them, etc.). So, a lot of times to make friends with non-believers it means taking the initiative to know people I don't know. Hmmm... so simple yet so profound and SO hard to continually do.
Well,that is what I have been learning about ministry. Personally I have also been learning a lot but I am still processing exactly how to articulate that. Feel free to ask me if you see me. Also the lines between ministry and personal are very blurry perhaps indistinguishable and maybe they should be. Hmm... things to think about.
I am excited for break. I stayed in Manhattan until Friday night to go to my host brothers rehearsal dinner. It was such a privlidge to be a part of that night and for one of the first times in Manhattan I felt like I truly belonged there. Also, Friday night I went up to Lincoln and hung with tons of friends at Tracy's graduation party. It was really fun to see everyone; I didn't realize how much I missed all of them. It was weird to feel like the friend from out of town though. A lot has changed and at times I didn't know who the people they were discussing were or what the circumstances that came up were about. Crazy. It is also nuts that Tracy and Rachael are graduating. I want to throw a fit and tell people to stop moving away but that probably isn't very mature (or God-honoring) especially since I started the trend. Doesn't change the desire at times though. :)
I went to Amy Patras's wedding on Saturday afternoon. Again that was a good time to catch up with friends. I saw Jill and Rob's new house (in between the rehearsal and the reception) and got to talk to John and Kathy. It was sweet and soul refreshing on both accounts. Their shared experiences really encouraged me. Also the wedding was amazing. Amy and Jared said and demonstrated that their lives and marriage and wedding are not about them over and over again. I left giving glory to God and just excited for them. After the wedding, I hung with Sonya (It was very good to see her. Talking to her made me really sad that we didn't get to do it more though. As did most of my time in Lincoln) and then went back home.
Since getting back home, I have been spending good time with my parents and hopefully I will get the chance to catch up with friends too. A lot of people have said that they want to see me but I have actual plans with few. I talked to one of my FC girls on the phone last night and plan on calling a few others over break. It is always neat to see that ministry isn't just something that happens at K-State because it needs to but something that I really believe in and enjoy.
I hope that no matter where I am and whatever I do that I live my life to make God look good (as He is).
Well that is the marathon post that you have all been waiting for. I will try to update ya'll again soon (maybe even before break is over).
Sunday, November 21, 2004
First date in 3 years
AND it was with a bunch of freshman men and women and their Bible study leaders. Yep you guessed it, on Friday night I went on a Freshman Connection group date. I have to say it wins the award for the most interesting date I have ever been on. First, the men picked us up at the dorms and we ate dinner in the cafeteria courtesy of (you guessed it) our parents. Then we went to Manhattan Hill (and we did not go there to make out- although it is apparently the high school make out spot). The guys made signs that read "You are the light of the world, a city on a hill cannot be hidden." Then we talked about how we were on a hill looking at a city (a little opposite of the verse) but we got the imagery. The men did an excellent job then of leading us in a disscusion about where we were being lights for Christ (specifically through verbal evangelism) and then we all shared what God had used to encourage us this year. Then we broke up into groups and the guys prayed for the girls. BUT the interesting part is still to come... After this activity, we went back to the dorms and carved soap sculptures (yep good old Dial soap and a butterknife) with knives the men had "Borrowed" from the dorm cafeteria. I made a heart with a cross but others made things from penguins to Mr. Potato Head. It was a good time.
Saturday night was also awesome. My Bible study girls (the FC one) and I went to Topeka and stayed the night at Liz's house. Her mom made us dinner, snacks and breakfast. We had some good serious conversation, serious fun, and some good Bible study. It rocked. It was everything I hoped it would be and MORE. How cool. Praise God!
In other news, I talked to both Tracy, Sonya and Rachael on the phone this weekend. What a gift from God. That was SO SO SO SO awesome. It is hard to believe that Tracy and Rachael are both graduating in four weeks and moving FAR away. But, I was marveling at how much and God did in their lives in college. I long to be used to impact people in that way at K-state.
In personal news (well, more personal news that is) I am reading Chosen By God by R.C. Sproul. Watch out I may come out a Calvinist or maybe with just more understanding of the Bible. But I am excited to tackle the predestination can of worms. Wish me God!
Saturday night was also awesome. My Bible study girls (the FC one) and I went to Topeka and stayed the night at Liz's house. Her mom made us dinner, snacks and breakfast. We had some good serious conversation, serious fun, and some good Bible study. It rocked. It was everything I hoped it would be and MORE. How cool. Praise God!
In other news, I talked to both Tracy, Sonya and Rachael on the phone this weekend. What a gift from God. That was SO SO SO SO awesome. It is hard to believe that Tracy and Rachael are both graduating in four weeks and moving FAR away. But, I was marveling at how much and God did in their lives in college. I long to be used to impact people in that way at K-state.
In personal news (well, more personal news that is) I am reading Chosen By God by R.C. Sproul. Watch out I may come out a Calvinist or maybe with just more understanding of the Bible. But I am excited to tackle the predestination can of worms. Wish me God!
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